Still It

I'm not happy at what i'm doing now. I know i have to work. It's this work that makes me unhappy. Everything are shitty. They think they are invincible. in-fact is everyone is barely holding up. I am feeling the ugliness of it because i'm practically being thrown to the site and i have to crash course everything. I think with my conditions like that. anf the way of them managing me.... it's no wonder i feel this job is shitty. Silly, silly, Shall i go for my passion? or shall i continue working? I'm really not happy working here.

Whining

Am i whining?? Do i over think things? I hope i did. This job is making me uncomfortable/ I rend to worry about many things. I worry how my Brand managers sees me. I worry how mt operations executive sees me. I am breaking  down and i have no one here. I am standing strong by myself by thinking there are other worst than me.
Remember i say i missed bumble bee? He is coming back next week. Why at this time he decides to come back. I don't even dare to think of nest week. I just have to be strong and go to work. I have to find some joy at this work. Joy. I guess i just got demotivated when i can't see and i have to do things slowly. Grrr... Joy at work is a must. Joy Joy.

A big risk.

Thanks there, for your strong embrace Mr.Hombre. Really thanks. I needed it a lot. Don't let go till i finish crying okay. :) Aiks!! To think i'm holding up and trying to not tell anyone. Hope i could stand my own flame. :) Well, i've decided to confront my manager abaout my prob. Something happened and i screwed up some reports. Well, it burnt my manager up the wall and she's not talking about it instead just ignored me and giving strong hints that she's angry. I'm really at fault here. No one to blame. I own it up and apologise to her. By the way it's just really her to act this way. Maybe she's afraid that if she open her mouth there will be fire roaring out.  Hmmm... it has been two days. Finally i've decided to ask her to scold me. I actually want her to scold me. At least it gets out of her system and mine too. And we can work in a better condition. I guess tomorrow i'll pop the question. This tragedy here this time got me to think hard weather Should i quit my job? It hit me that, I gave up so much for this job, something that i believe in so much but this job never stops hurting me back. Time, Money. Future. Anyway i met Eric just now on my way home. He is in the most beautiful mood taday, hence he looks incredibly cute taday. Get to talk quite a lot with him and some laugh too. Well, at least there is some laugh today. :) Thanks again Mr.Hombre. You take care and everyone have a great great day ahead aight.... Cheers