Series of Test

I didn't know there is a urine test and also so many injections involved. taken all the test and only will know my results on Saturday and my blood test results on Monday. While i took the x-ray i have to strip half naked and i wasn't given any robe to wear on. i was there in a mufti glass lab being watch by everyone who walks by, Didn't wear my belt cause i thought i would have the green robe to wear. So standing there with half of my underwear hanging out and being handled by an Indian lady. Well she's young but look washed off. I felt like being vision raped by everyone. Whats worst was when i came out, there is these three old lady on wheel chairs smirking at me. Ah.... that makes me felt so embarrassed. It's not like I'm sexy. Arrghh.... well the series of test actually are backing up my sister's worries. That is my smoking habit. Well obviously i have to slow down my smoking and eventually stop it. so that's why i planned to go jogging tomorrow morning. Oh... i havent look for my pants and my top yet and my shoes. Well what ever comes after this i think i may not take it but i hope i could keep my healthy habbit. That's the least i could do right?

Hope

 Okay... tomorrow i'm having my bllod test. My skin test and gonna take x-rays of my lungs. Hmmmm.... I woke up this morning and felt rather bold. Dry. I think if any guy now walks over and offer me a hug and tells me everything is going to be alright. I'll marry him right away. Hahhhaa..... I know.. I know... this shouldn't be going on. Things already happen and i should be accepting it. Millions are worst than me right? That's one part that i hate about my self. I've never let myself completely loose. As much as i want to weep like a baby and just let it out, i always ends up comforting myself to be okay. I guess i should be okay. Hope everything doesn't get's worst. I actually felt hurt. It's actually very pain. Alright, let's pray that everything will be better for me. It has to be okay. I can't affort to hust my siblings and my parents anymore. I need Hope. Some hope.