I had a dream yesterday. I was dancing intimately with this girl. No one i know in real life but it's the kind of girl that i would fancy. Then.. in it i was smelling her neck and making promises.
WTF!! what is this?? I don't want to be a Lesbian!!!
I had this dream last night. A dream that i guess it's what i have no guts to touch before. Well, people do hope for excellence but i think in reality they will always go for compatible.
Anyway i had a dream last night. It's me walking with my sis and her son. My nephew. A teenager.(In reality. my sis is not even married yet. So no child yet) He kept whining, for something cause his mom sort of like forbid him to do or get. Then out of the blue i told him to go ahead and don't worry about my sis. Instantly he smiled and came to thank me. I say it's alright and i kissed his cheek. It's a weird kiss cause the kiss was the kind of kiss that you sniff before you kiss. Then he gave me a stare. A stick in the brain kind of stare that i cannot forget while he turns away. Then i walked away with my sis and suddenly i'm transported to another scene. In this scene i was with my best friend. A super young version of my best friend. A very innocent virginated version. So it's obviously not him. So, here i am assisting him to take a bus to meet up with his boyfriend. During the ride, i remembers i am imagining it would be nice if he likes me. I kept talking to him. Then, OCBC Bank called me!! Ish.......
The sweet part about this dreams is that, my nephew looks like Joseph Gordon Levitt. Also a virginated version of him. And the second guy looks like my best friend who now doesn't seems to wants to talk to me. He lives in Singapore now. I think he had turned Gay. Suspicious. (many history) The weird part of this is, this is the second time i have dreamt the exact same dream. And that stare. I'm kinda very emotional attached to this dream. Don't really know why. Maybe these guys are the ones that i unconsciously hoped for. Well not sexually but it's to have the slow motion kind of moment. to love and love love. lol......
I had a dream. I got on a bike with this guy. About this guy....I use to have a crush on this guy. He is 4 years younger than me. When you goes out with him you felt like he is the protector. You will feel totally safe whenever he is around. I use to go out party with him, his girlfriend who is Bumble Bee's best friend and i am Bumble Bee's friend. He always never failed taking care of us all. He actually would give all 3 of us the equal amount of attention. Amazing. it's so flattering and perfect only that i couldn't hug him and give him a gratitude kiss. yes of course he knows I'm a gay. Even his girlfriend knows i have a crush on him. Still he never despise me, instead he does things to make sure i never felt that i should keep my distance, Like after taking a group picture he will ask to take a picture with just me, or he would pour wine for me. It's complete gentlemen. Well with these happening you also would actually get it that it was purely respect out of him and not any hanky panky stuff. These is the exact quality of him that drives me complete crazy. Well i am a crazy party slut. But i never forget to make sure he is safe as well. So i will never keep him out of my sight. He got married though. One son now. We didn't keep in touch. SAD. Maybe it's for the best. I always have this ability to end up having sex with straight guys. Anyway back to my dream. As i was on the bike i intentionally place both of my hands near his bulge as i need a grip to sit at the back of the bike. So it's like hugging him from the back but not intimately. When the bike starts moving my hands slides back a little bit more and officially touching his bulge. He took one of my hand straight away. I became scared and nervous, but he didn't let go but instead he place my hand right at his chest and just hold it firmly there. ???? So i kept my other hand right where it was. When the bike moves on bumpy roads, my hand is basically tapping on his bulge. Hmmmm..... mind blasting. While he is still holding my hand on his chest we passed by this building and he mentioned to me that he got married there. We talked about his wife and at the same time i opened me hand to give him a squeeze on his bulge then my alarm rang!!!! I tried to sleep again. Then i realized I'm just faking my sleep and deceiving myself. So i woke up And so did my dick. The whole day i can't void the image of the dream off my head. My semi hard on won't go away and now too I'm throbbing. I masturbated so many times today. The thought of him was so intense that i have to masturbate with Ky and kept on rubbing my head, as my head are the most sensitive part of my dick. I usually don't do that, but today i need maximum intensity to take my mind off him. When i rub my rough fingers along my head with my foreskin pulled back. The sensation was unbearable and my whole body was throbbing. I felt like howling. My eyes are tightly shut and i have to bite my pillow so that i don't howl. Hahahha...... I cummed loads and still my dick is in the semi hard state. I never thought such a simple dream would get me so hypnotized. Still i missed him much. I hope i would see him again one day.
I think if anyone is to get an Oscar for repelling friends, i would get it. LOL.... i didn't get a single Christmas text at all. What the hell!! Hmmm..... here i am again spending my time at home and didn't go out. Well, as long as i don't feel bad. It's okay actually. hahhhaa....... Merry Christmas everyone. :) Here i need to wish some people. To my greatest love...... Bumble Bee, Abba and Jay Brannan. I actually got a reply of e-mail from Jay Brannan!!!!!! How cool is that!!!! It really feels great and ironic hahahah....... :) ............... I know I'm day dreaming. Of all he's doing but still he thinks that he is lonely. I am angry when he does that but still, Can't say not . Cause people do feel like that when they felt alone somehow. Like what I'll do. I look for the slightest light available in the dark. Imagine and dream. It somehow helps you through. It's really stupid and brainless to say that i actually like Jay. Like i say..... I DREAM. :)
Sincerely i would wish i could always be around him as a friend at least. I can see my self lingering around him and being totally ignored. Maybe taking his tantrum once in a while always get scolded for doing stupid stuffs... but still I'm thinking of what should i cook later on. Or where should i take him to eat or even what food would make him happy. Then what should i do for tomorrow morning. Have i ironed his top for tomorrow's show? Did i wash his socks? Is his jeans still wearable. I think i should start going through his pockets for rubbish as he always chuck stuff in it and don't take out. I sound like a casalinga.. lol... well these are things one should share doing. Can't be only him doing it. Oh no i haven't wrap his Christmas present...But as usual I'm glad I'm around to make sure nothing tragic happens. Hahah.... it sounded like I'm more than a friend. but well, these are the things i enjoy doing. it's the sweetest stuff and when you see him smiles you'll know it's worth it...........
I'm back to work tomorrow after two days off. I hope i could forget and just be free of my self miserable thoughts. Well, kinda look forward to the train moments. Hope tomorrow would be a great great day. Yesterday i had a dream of this guy i kinda like. Bloody sexy and i woke up jacking off. Oh... that was tiring. Some fun at least. Grrr...... why i can't get off this miserable thought of going back to work and meeting with all evil vampires. ????
