EIGHTpointTwentyFourteen

I just had a hair cut. It is exactly what i wanted but i forget to imagine my own face with it. I'm quite upset now, i even felt angry at my self for having such mistake. Just a few days. Just a few more days and it wouldn't look that bad anymore. I had the exact style of the top right picture. When you are good looking, you'll look good in everything! Haihh!! Deceived by the picture!! 

 Feeling kinda plain lately. I think it's because the guy that i liked in my previous post already has a BF. It' a damm 4 year BF!! Lolzzz.... no la.. i'm not angry. I'm quite happy for him though. It's not easy to have such bond. It's precious. Just sad that i have no opportunity. 

 Bumble bee came back from Australia. My first love. I still love him. He is closer to my sister now. They always Wechat while he is still in Australia. I think they went out yesterday without asking me to join them.  And i wasn't told that he is back till today. He came to my house just now. Visit my mom. He practically didn't talk to me at all. Just the formal courtesy "Hello" I don't understand. What have i done wrong?? Why such treatment? Why my sister thinks that it's alright to not to include me?? 

Seriously i pray and beg for a BF. A real life BF. I always get crazy woman!!!!  I'm glad that i've met great female friends but i really don't know why i attract many crazy old women. I don't want these nutty old woman go grabbing my nuts. They are just weird. Just weird. I say i'm gay and they hug me enldlessly. They even ask if they can French kiss me?? lolzzz.... i wonder how long more i can withstand these crap. 

BTW i super love skinny guys like the first top left picture. The one cutting his hair. Skinny with attitude. Actually i don't mind skinny Dorky too. Damm hot. turns me on big time mann..!!

I was CHATTY

I was chatty after drinking these days. I mean usually after drinking it's either i sleep or i become a devil. Just these days i seem to talk instead of doing the usual. Hmmm.... The last time i was quite emo. Then yesterday it happen again. I seem to talk with tears coming out at wrong que's and my story doesn't make sense. Hahahah... it seems that i Begin the story and skip to the middle and suddenly it's the end. lolzzz....... Thank god i didn't do this in public. I was at home with a friend but it's still embarrassing nevertheless. She's back from Singapore but she's back there again today. 

I was talking about Bumble Bee though. Never knew i missed him so much. I think he is not coming back for CNY next year. Then Refflesia try to contact me again via text. I didn't reply, cause i genuinely felt happier without his presence in my life. 

Karaoke

Why is it so difficult for me to meet, at least one guy that "feels" like the picture above? Infact it's so difficult to even spot one. There are many that does put on clothes like that, but it's practically none that feels like HIM!! I am so GAGA over this guy... "Actually i am more worried of what would i do if i ever spot one??? " lolzzz........

Hmm... I never sings. I know i have a bad voice. So from day one my friend met me.... they know i just don't sing. Usually i just drink, do the pr and join the fun. So this time!! after the karaoke session  with my friends i told one of my girlfriend that i am quite pleased with the Karaoke just now. I had fun!! She grinned and and gave me that "Uh..huh??" look, and says 

 She; "you never fully enjoys Karaoke" "Don't just say that to make us feel better"

Me: "No No.... really i meant it. !! I actually karaoked this time!" 

She: "You did? How come I didn't hear you sing ??"

Me: " Cause i Karaoked a guy at the toilet!!"

She: "Wtf!! Wtf!! (while her face is still in the "O" shape)

ME: " Yeah!! me who doesn't sing finally Karaoked at the Karake this time!! "

Then we laugh and she start slapping my arm and chase me around. Guess while chasing me what did she screamed?? 

"Wtf!! Wtf!! my Va Jay Jay itchy also got nobody to attend to it and you get to karaoke at the karaoke??"

It was hilarious!!

p/s: Bumble Bee reach Australia safely.

New Age?

Every year there would be a gathering during CNY. When old friends meet... there would be fun, laughter and as the night grew (without alcohol) silent or awkward moment. Remember last time when everyone or when the conversations are getting lesser and lesser?  When that happens then every mind around the table would start digging for topics. 

NOW? 

"Candy Crush" 

or

 tagging or Fb!!!! I think WIFI single handedly damaged my reunion with my precious friends!!! 

By the way Bumble Bee is flying back to Australia at 10am today. Hope he has a safe flight and i get to see him soon...

A Bit Akward

I just Love it when Bumble Bee is Drunk. Cause that's when he speaks and joke with me without hesitation. So sweet.
He is just in the next room now. SOBER. So there is zero conversations and because he is in my lair... i can feel some extra awkward vibe. Hmmm maybe it's just me. Hmmm....  actually... the more memories that, that one place holds, the stronger the awkward vibe grows.
Well, whatever it is i am quite glad i got to hang out with him this time.
How was CNY guys?

TIRED

I  just came back and sat down here around 2.30am and heard Auld Lang Syne from Ricky's blog. made me remembered that i used to read everyone's blog and why now i have stopped doing so? So i went through most of it and now it's 5am.

Commenting on Joker's post kinda made me realize that how nice if all of you bloggers are actually here. Near me. I mean i can touch physically. Not for Milk lah...but really. How nice if all of you are an actual person that i can speak to and laugh to and have drinks together. Then i guess pain and worries would be less tense cause, friends do take your mind away from whats bothering you and make you think lesser of troubles.
Anyway... leave  that aside... i had quite a shitty celebration. Hahhah... fireworks were covered by all the high rise and i am being sprayed by little kids!! Ish...
Again leave that aside.... instead when we were having drinks near my place called "Little Bally"was the most fun times of the night. Though there are nothing much done. But the calm and steady environment were quite a sweet treat. Well of course the cute sharp bartender and the sexy slim leg guy sitting behind me made it even better.

Owh..anyway i kinda tried to confront my fears yesterday by going to 7E and have a drink at the restaurant there. It has been 4 months and a week since he left. Yes though looking through ManHunt and learnt that there are actually so many Gays at Nepal. It kinda freaked me out. I must say there is that fear and sorrow but i just wanna confront it before i move into 2013. I guess i am calmer toward Samir now, as in i am kinda beginning to accept the truth. Maybe or maybe i am lying to myself. Anyhow i have to face the fear and try to budge my self. He did text me yesterday with wishes for the new year.

Bumble Bee came back months ago. His grandma passed away. Did not get to see him until he visited my sister at the hospital. My sis had a baby boy. Aydeen Mikail smth smth... Believed it or not i wept when i saw the baby and my sis. Boleh tak?? It's just overwhelming. Then I was surprised that Bumble Bee was quite courteous and acted like we never been closed. Well he didn't shut me off that i could feel but it's just quite empty. Hmm....  mildly sad about it but i am just glad that he is healthy and happy. I hope i can feel like that towards Samir though.

I have to go through another surgery sometime in 2013. It's my 10th surgery. Quite unbelievable that i have gone through that. Owh...it's not entirely a bad thing. It's because it's healing too well that my eyes are kinda pulling the tube that they planted behind my eyes away from where it's suppose to be. The little bad thing is that it's also like a time bomb. If they are not careful while surgery then it will cause my conditions to go worst. If the bomb is not disturbed then i am okay.

One big thing that i learnt in 2012 is that never to ignore. Things like because you wanna argue less and you ignore the problem. It helps on the spot but in the long run? It boils and it gets even uglier than before. In my case  all of the problems came firing back at once.

I felt like i have slept over 2010 and 2011 then i learnt everything at once in 2012 cause i felt kinda tired.  And at the beginning of 2013 i am only in the middle of all these that i am about to face. As i am documenting these down...i am not really feeling sad but instead i feel tired and really felt like mentioning it.

I hate Taylor Swift but i am listening to her now, so ironic!! Also heard from Ricky's Blog.

Dry Lips

Every time when i get closer to my family then he will appear. I am talking about Bumble Bee. My ever great mom's god son / love of my life / so pity studying alone in Australia / so fat now looks like a hamster..
I felt a bit bad cause my sister can't buy him a ticket to come back for her wedding dinner. In fact it happens so fast that he wasn't even being informed until the night of the wedding it self. I felt a bit ...hmmm whats that word? ..  Then i sort of keep it aside then try to enjoy the wedding. Then one of my friend say she would Skype him and at where we are?  There is no line. So When the wedding is about to end they broadcast a video of my sister's engagement ceremony and there...he has to appear in a few shots.."Cam whore"  Imagine usually these video are made to be romantic and sort of like feel good and teary reflecting the moments and stuff.!! So i starts to wonder how is he now. Later that night when i went on my FB. (I never text him through FB anyway) Just updating on his news through there though. His FB? I saw a broken iPad. Quoting..."how can i live without you" (or something) It doesn't make my worries any lesser...then his profile picture has to has "Dry Lips" cracked some more. Then my "dear" friend who visited me have to tell me that Bumble Bee can't come back this December Because his mom doesn't let him to. Owh....kinda making me wanna work harder to actually eliminate all these isn't it? My mom's god son, means he is my god  brother lah isn't it? That means i have to "god" protect him right? "o" . HAhahaah...no lah...It's someone who i have loved before, so it will be always be that way. Just a different  love plus a "godly" protection. 

After all these

After all these... i guess what i wanted most is that i wish i could do it again. I wish i would be able to do it all over again.. Not to Bumble Bee  of course. The next person i am gonna love. The next soul or whoever i am gonna be with. Sometimes i do think that i am weird, because i actually wish that i could serve someone again.lolz...and all i ever wanted back in return is someone to hold me at night. A strong hug at night while i am sleeping. Just so that i could feel safe. Someone who would hugs me so tight so that i would never ever felt that i am falling. So tight that i could feel that my feet is actually connected to the ground. So tight that i would realize that i actually existed.  I am so crazy that one night i find my self wondering that is there such thing as "Comfort for rent?"

Bumble Bee

Have i ever elaborate "Bumble Bee"?

It's in one of these lunch time at work at Kim Gary. "HA HA HA HA HA" I never stops listening to this laugh from the other end. Bloody annoying!! Then when i am having dinner there after work....after i made my order and when i am about to light my cigarette..."HA HA HA HA"  that bloody laugh again. I swear i never rolled my eyes with such enthusiasm before. I hate it so much and i begin to imagine he must have been a useless rich kid boasting and flaunting with his friends. I saw his face this time and it definitely looks like what i thought. He is not in uniform any uniform and he is with a bunch of college friends. Looks exactly like a rich kid who doesn't needs to worry of the end of the world and laughs really LOUD!!!
I actually have to put up with his laugh almost every day at Kim Gary. I begin to hate him so much. Ishh.... after lunch one day.....while at work my area manager came.... introducing him to me. He is hired for work at my place. Of all people. It has to be The HA HA boy!!! Well then... thank god i wasn't the store head at that time...so i don't have to do much with him...just being a fake nice colleague.
At that time, most of my colleague likes to have drinks after work or sometimes.. hit the clubs... my home was just walking distance from the mall where i work and great enough the place everyone hangs out are also around my home. The Ha..Ha...boy also lives nearby but my home is actually nearer. So guess what? He likes to crash at my house. I was renting of course there are no other place for him to sleep but beside me. Hmmphh...thank god he doesn't laugh while sleeping.. Then one night we had sex...cause we were super drunk

Months passed and he practically lived with me already, cause we hangs out in the same group. I begin to helps him to monitor his comforter when it's cold at night. He usually gets the mosquito bites..then i find myself begin to prepare repellent for him..then without me knowing it i begin to prepare meals for him..well it's take out but i always make sure he has something to eat. Any outing are without question i would automatically count him in and he would do the same. I realized that i begin to be protective of him. Now every night i would sweep his hair then smell and kiss his forehead and actually called him stupid boy before i sleep. I always make sure he sleeps before me that's why i could do that....I thought we were very casual. I never thought that as time goes by i am falling in love But i have never mentioned it. In fact "WE" never mentioned it. Through out the journeys we always discuss or chat about other guys. Cute guys and who ever he meets.

It never sinks in till one day i realize a guy starts giving him gifts. This guy who is actually a friend of the tenant's downstairs. He came just to crash for a few weeks. I remembered that one day...he sat in front of me and kinda tells me in sort of a guilty manner that he is going out with the guy downstairs for a drink. Then i begin to feel the streaking pain in my chest. Then shockingly it came out from my mouth. "Please don't do this, you know i love you. This guy is just downstairs, it hurts and you are doing it in my home" He then hugs me...when he did i started wiping off my tears. I am not crying but my tears are overflowing. Then suddenly...he freaked out..... "Where is my ring?" he asked.... (the gold ring that the guy down stairs gave him.) it was funny though...my reactions is to search for the ring right away...never found it though. Well then i let him go as i thought we were never really in "agreement" to be exclusive before. He and that guy never worked out though.

After that we kinda still maintain the "casual" thingy for a few more years. We were together when i moved from Sunway to Damansara then to  Subang  and  till i bought my first home in Subang. Through out the years i on my part gone to the extreme length just to see him feel pleasant around me. That worry free look of his are really a priceless sight. Suddenly helping him to do all the petty stuff even like taking a glass of water seems so nice. It's at these time too he fell in love with a guy from...err...can't remember but it didn't work out after a year. It was at Damansara where he got a soft toy from IKEA. A dog... light brown and he decided to name it Bumble Bee. So weird...known him for years and suddenly he sleeps hugging a soft toy.

Well...as it goes on he starts to be close to my family members and he even becomes my mom's god son. It's really sweet when you hear your family members talking about the guy you love.  We always cannot get much far away from each other. When i got transferred to Mid Valley he did too and then when we resigned we too got offered into the same boutique at KLCC. Then one day he decided to resign and work at Pavillion. That's when he decides to go home.

So that's when we never really see each other any more but we still do hangs out at clubs together. Then after a year he decided to work in Singapore...I just got worried spelled out of my face when i heard that. Who will prepare his meals? who does his laundries? Mosquitoes? What if when it's cold? Who makes sure he is okay when he is drunk?  Who could he ask for help when he is in trouble in the land of strangers? But I never really came to contact him though cause my sis chats with him through Facebook. So i still could keep track that way. Two years after hat, i got a little traumatic when i hear he is going to continue his studies at Australia.There is where he is now. doing fine but it still worries me lots, cause he is practically alone.

I am okay and am getting use to it..till recently i attached an old friends wedding. He couldn't attend. That's a bnummer . Then one of my friend skype him through out the whole sessions. i felt a bit sad cause he was there alone in his tiny room and we here are all surrounded by friends. The only comforting thing is that he has gained weight. A good sign. Then i felt even a tighter squeeze in my chest when i went home after the wedding the next day...to my hometown and saw my mom made a collage of her beloved cute children with his pictures in it too. Hwuuaoooaaahhh. I guess i never stops loving him. I missed him then at the same time i don't mind him having a new happy relationship. I just felt that i should be around, a  within reach distances just to make sure he is alright. I always wonder what kind of  love that i have for him? Not a bf love love but it's just plain love.

Bumble Bee

Bumble Bee came back. Actually came back for some time already. He is going back to Australia after Chinese New Year. This time it would be 3 years at least. I am sad cause it felt like i am loosing a friend. It felt like the ending of the movie "The Legend of 1900" The part where Max couldn't persuade Nineteen Hundred to leave the ship.

Quest 3

Today i continue the mess i did yesterday. My eyes are not that clear after all. Today when i see the cabinet i see patches of parts that i didn't paint. Kinda humored myself there. So instead of wrapping things up i have to cover those spots that i missed. Another round of painting. it was kinda more difficult this time cause i'm wearing gloves. Plastic and paint really don't go together.Tends to be very sticky and slow down the process. After that i tried to clean as much and re-attached the little doors handle. Well it turns out very nice and my dining room looks fresher than ever. Well, still have to wait for the paint to really dry up then i can put back all the stuff.
Got a letter today requesting me to do a check up for my eyes. I tried to apply for some funds from the government. Hope it will approve this time round. I feel bad using so much of my sisters money. The medical fee and all.
My fishes are doing well. Didn't do much gardening today. Hmmm... i'm thinking which stuff to do after the painting. So many stuff to clear once you sit back and see. Anyway i'm glad i'm settling stuff, one by one.
Still can't seem to stop smoking. I'm thinking of smoking as i'm typing about smoking here. Aish....
I miss Bumble Bee. I hope he is doing well. Take care of yourself. Really take good care of yourself. 

Sparks

I had a dream. I got on a bike with this guy. About this guy....I use to have a crush on this guy. He is 4 years younger than me. When you goes out with him you felt like he is the protector. You will feel totally safe whenever he is around. I use to go out party with him, his girlfriend who is Bumble Bee's best friend and i am Bumble Bee's friend. He always never failed taking care of us all. He actually would give all 3 of us the equal amount of attention. Amazing. it's so flattering and perfect only that i couldn't hug him and give him a gratitude kiss. yes of course he knows I'm a gay. Even his girlfriend knows i have a crush on him. Still he never despise me, instead he does things to make sure i never felt that i should keep my distance, Like after taking a group picture he will ask to take a picture with just me, or he would pour wine for me. It's complete gentlemen. Well with these happening you also would actually get it that it was purely respect out of him and not any hanky panky stuff. These is the exact quality of him that drives me complete crazy. Well i am a crazy party slut. But i never forget to make sure he is safe as well. So i will never keep him out of my sight. He got married though. One son now. We didn't keep in touch. SAD. Maybe it's for the best. I always have this ability to end up having sex with straight guys. Anyway back to my dream. As i was on the bike i intentionally place both of my hands near his bulge as i need a grip to sit at the back of the bike.  So it's like hugging him from the back but not intimately. When the bike starts moving my hands slides back a little bit more and officially touching his bulge. He took one of my hand straight away. I became scared and nervous, but he didn't let go but instead he place my hand right at his chest and just hold it firmly there. ???? So i kept my other hand right where it was. When the bike moves on bumpy roads, my hand is basically tapping on his bulge. Hmmmm..... mind blasting. While he is still holding my hand on his chest we passed by this building and he mentioned to me that he got married there. We talked about his wife and at the same time i opened me hand to give him a squeeze on his bulge then my alarm rang!!!! I tried to sleep again. Then i realized I'm just faking my sleep and deceiving myself. So i woke up And so did my dick. The whole day i can't void the image of the dream off my head. My semi hard on won't go away and now too I'm throbbing. I masturbated so many times today. The thought of him was so intense that i have to masturbate with Ky and kept on rubbing my head, as my head are the most sensitive part of my dick. I usually don't do that, but today i need maximum intensity to take my mind off him. When i rub my rough fingers along my head with my foreskin pulled back. The sensation was unbearable and my whole body was throbbing. I felt like howling. My eyes are  tightly shut and i have to bite my pillow so that i don't howl. Hahahha...... I cummed loads and still my dick is in the semi hard state. I never thought such a simple dream would get me so hypnotized. Still i missed him much. I hope i would see him again one day.

Bumble Bee

He didn't turn up. apparently both party has no transport. Kinda disappointeded but also kinda felt relief. I really don't know how i would take in such moment. Well he is gonna be around for the next two days.

Bumble Bee

He came back and wanted to visit my sister and that means he is visiting me as well. When i heard that i got a slight stunt. I'm afraid I'll cry. I have been keeping him out of my mind since. Well sometimes think of him but never contacted him. How? really !! I'm afraid i will cry, and i can't do that in front of my sisters. He only still text my sister. So far i get updates of him when my sister speaks of him. My hair is ugly. I'm in a bad condition. OMG!! Now i have to prepare his birthday present. Arrghh.. this is not good. Secretly excited though. I felt like i should be hiding when he arrives.

Just it

It's late and I'm suppose to be sleeping. Well gonna sleep after this. I actually did text Bumble bee. Happy birthday i said. he only reply "Thanks" Just it. It hurts when i know he is actually at home and not out celebrating. My sister text him too. That's why i know. Well, i wish him all the best and hope he is having fun all the time so that hr doesn't miss home so much. Me on my part I'm struggling to decide what should i do. My fob i mean. this is such agony!!!

Whining

Am i whining?? Do i over think things? I hope i did. This job is making me uncomfortable/ I rend to worry about many things. I worry how my Brand managers sees me. I worry how mt operations executive sees me. I am breaking  down and i have no one here. I am standing strong by myself by thinking there are other worst than me.
Remember i say i missed bumble bee? He is coming back next week. Why at this time he decides to come back. I don't even dare to think of nest week. I just have to be strong and go to work. I have to find some joy at this work. Joy. I guess i just got demotivated when i can't see and i have to do things slowly. Grrr... Joy at work is a must. Joy Joy.

Identical

Okay after a bad episode this afternoon i kinda cool off a bit and just as i thought of this guy called Alias, he appeared walking pass in front of my boutique. He is the cutest ever. Hahaha.... This guy i would always remember him because he is the exact identical of Bumble Bee. I really can't believe he resembles Bumble Bee that much. His attitude, actions, the way he talks and everything is so him. Prrr.... Alias is actually straight. He has a girlfriend and so is Bumble Bee when we met. Somehow Alias is also showing the same symptoms as Bumble Bee when the first time i saw him. I had the feeling that this guy could be made gay. :) somehow i kinda don't want to "spoil" Alias as he has a Girlfriend and i felt guilty. But he always talks to me in a different way. Like I'm his boyfriend or something. Not in a obvious way but there is the cute sad face and there is the lips purging, and there is the messing my hair thingy. How can i resist that!!? Suddenly he showed up again in front of my boutique. We chat and he talks to me in the most darling way complaining that he is tired. Awww..... i felt like kissing him that instance. Hahaha... but well that was well entertaining. He somehow always enjoyed my company. He likes to ask me out for a smoking break and he always talks to me in a very cute way without he himself noticing it. Well... this is interesting, lets see what will happens in future.

Yes

      In the midst of all my problem's and the never ending problems that arise through out my living days, YES i do reach out at every opportunity i have. I'm not really all that sad in real life. I guess it's because i never show one bit of sadness in reality and in virtual i pour it all out. well, i guess this also how one would really know one person's true self. Maybe. Got really excited at work today cause it's Oscar the next day. I take off every year on this day. Oscar really boost my energy a lot. I guess watching people's success would actually makes you wanna achieve something in life. Well then got a text from Bumble Bee... he is going to resign and work in Singapore. It means he will be in the neighbor country and i really can't see him anymore till the next time he comes back again for holidays. He who i knows we will never get together and who i also loves dearly would actually be very far from me. It gives me a little panic attack. I worry of his safety. He who always likes people to prepares everything for him and he who is still a kid in so many ways would actually be living alone. It's so strange and I'm bloody afraid that he might be scared over there. It really felt like you permitting your child to move out the first time. What if he felt lonely? Who is there to cheer him up? He is so used to computers before sleep, and he doesn't have one when he is there. He who always needs to change his toothbrush every two months. Does he even know he has to prepare so many little things like bed sheets, food. He who drinks a lot of water, who is there to prepare for him? and he likes them cold. Does he knows he has to buy toilet rolls? OMG this is freaking me out!!! Though i really let him be by himself but from time to time i check. Least he is near. Now he is far and i don't know how. I hate to see him go sad. His puppy eyes really makes me cry. I am really worried that there will be no one there to comfort him when he really needs it. He is like a fragile piece of jewel to me. I'm always afraid to hurt him. I always hate to smear it. I look at him when he is asleep and i love smelling his forehead when he is asleep. I always will make sure i kiss and brush his forehead while he is sleeping so that he felt safe and then i goes to bed. I always will make sure the room is cold enough for him to sleep or makes sure he is properly covered during the rainy days. I always tells him good night before i sleep (he is asleep of course), my words would always be "Good night stupid boy" and i never sleep before he sleeps. Didn't realize i have been doing that for the past 6 years already. I wish him all the best. You be good and really take care of yourself aight?

Here i am

I think if anyone is to get an Oscar for repelling friends, i would get it. LOL.... i didn't get a single Christmas text at all. What the hell!! Hmmm..... here i am again spending my time at home and didn't go out. Well, as long as i don't feel bad. It's okay actually. hahhhaa....... Merry Christmas everyone. :) Here i need to wish some people. To my greatest love...... Bumble Bee, Abba and Jay Brannan. I actually got a reply of e-mail from Jay Brannan!!!!!! How cool is that!!!! It really feels great and ironic hahahah....... :) ............... I know I'm day dreaming. Of all he's doing but still he thinks that he is lonely. I am angry when he does that but still, Can't say not . Cause people do feel like that when they felt alone somehow. Like what I'll do. I look for the slightest light available in the dark. Imagine and dream. It somehow helps you through. It's really stupid and brainless to say that i actually like Jay. Like i say..... I DREAM. :)
Sincerely i would wish i could always be around him as a friend at least. I can see my self lingering around him and being totally ignored. Maybe taking his tantrum once in a while always get scolded for doing stupid stuffs... but still I'm thinking of what should i cook later on. Or where should i take him to eat or even what food would make him happy. Then what should i do for tomorrow morning. Have i ironed his top for tomorrow's show? Did i wash his socks? Is his jeans still wearable. I think i should start going through his pockets for rubbish as he always chuck stuff in it and don't take out. I sound like a casalinga.. lol... well these are things one should share doing. Can't be only him doing it. Oh no i haven't wrap his Christmas present...But as usual I'm glad I'm around to make sure nothing tragic happens. Hahah.... it sounded like I'm more than a friend. but well, these are the things i enjoy doing. it's the sweetest stuff and when you see him smiles you'll know it's worth it...........

The other TWO

Now I'm ready to write about the other Two. Let's name him Bumble Bee. "Who is that rich spoiled brat that laugh so loud?" "Who is that Snobbish spoil rich brat?" "Why is this spoil brat always laughing and he laugh so loud?" These are the things i said before i know him. Yes, fortunately we were introduced. He happens to be not rich but rich of laughter. Everywhere he goes everyone will start laughing. He is a charm. He is also the opposite of what i am. He is also everything my opposite. Yet he has everything i wanted. His laugh, the way he eats, the way he sleeps, the way he gets angry, the way he work, the way he nag, the way he whined, the way he is. It all makes my heart smile. A constant smirk appears on my lips when ever he's around. Even when it's the saddest time or even when he's at the angriest. We do have some histories. Not been together but he lived with me a while, with me totally cleared that he is never into me and living together is more like a friend thing and not a couple. When he's at my place he charmed everyone. My sisters loved to hang out with him. Having him around actually makes that one moment a very easy going moment. It has been five years now. We are growing apart. Of course he has to find his Mr right and me of course have to keep myself away cause when he's around I'll stick to him and no one else. One guy that i would do the unthinkable. Great length is nothing if it's for him. I won't complaint if it's for him. Getting snow from Everest is worth it, if it's for him.So for his own good and my welfare i have to contact him lesser. Stay way from him. I came to my senses, that it's best i be far and it's okay. I was wrong. I didn't come to my senses. I feel bizarrely pain. My heart seems to be streaking tearing apart. I thought i could. I miss him. Still now i still didn't go meet him cause i know it won't do both any good. We meet up once in a while though. Just to catch up and complaint. Without me knowing it, i actually planned and do things thinking that i should include him all the time. I guess i missed him terribly. I really missed him.