Better

Went praying the other day. Something i wanted to do for some time already, but never got a chance. Not gonna mention about work cause it's all a mess and sad. Gonna mention about my colleagues though. Practically everyone is gay. They are hitting on me. OMG!!! How can a manager get messed up with them? One of them got my attention though. He is the kind i'll never got attracted to. He is very sissy and too soft. But what i like is that he is very polite and courteous. Today he tried to brush through my bulge. Hahah... of course i act as if theres nothing and walk away but at the same time something grew bigger!! I have to go out right away and have a smoke to cool down. I cannot be messing up with my staff!!! Though these stuff could spice up my work life. Hmmm... felt a bit bored. cause he is gonna off for the next two days. anyway i have to keep my dirty thoughts to myself.

Average out

I am fine. Fine i guess. Been working my tail off. Something i realized about my self. I tend to do stuff till i felt satisfied. While attending to the busy chaos in the store i do felt like i was back to the past where i once enjoyed all these stuff. My position now though are different. Reverse psychology. Hahahha.... How creative i could get? I have to gain these people's respect and actually be friend at the same time. These young kids are cute. Fresh and actually got hit by my staff a few times. Hahha.....I have been smoking lots. Stress really are dangerous. I think i take two packets a day now. I have to smoke lesser. Other than that, it's quite comforting when everywhere i go i always got flirts from guys. Like the other day at the toilet. If only it's a quiet toilet, otherwise we'll have sex already. I was at the first urinal and he is at the next one. Shorter than me. Bloody gorgeous. Maybe he is an Eurasian. He was there before me. So ny timing he should already finish but he seems to be shaking longer than usual. I peeked and it was uncut. Semi hard. A beautiful length and sight. Too bad too many people were in the toilet. So we went off. Did though exchange stares at the mirrors. He went off after that. When i go oit, i saw he is actually with his girlfriend walking away. It's lame but the thought of a little bit gay straight guy makes me super horny. Hahahah.... hope i'll see him again.

Whining

Am i whining?? Do i over think things? I hope i did. This job is making me uncomfortable/ I rend to worry about many things. I worry how my Brand managers sees me. I worry how mt operations executive sees me. I am breaking  down and i have no one here. I am standing strong by myself by thinking there are other worst than me.
Remember i say i missed bumble bee? He is coming back next week. Why at this time he decides to come back. I don't even dare to think of nest week. I just have to be strong and go to work. I have to find some joy at this work. Joy. I guess i just got demotivated when i can't see and i have to do things slowly. Grrr... Joy at work is a must. Joy Joy.

Look at that

It was well quiet today. Sundays in my country is always very peaceful. But it's the opposite when it's afternoon. People starts to come out and enjoy their holiday. I always have thought being alone during your holidays is the best of all. Quiet and can sleep The whole day. Lol.... Well but today i have to work. Today at work was well bored but thank god there are many tourist to look at walking pass my boutique. There are always many to see when all the Europeans or the middle eastern on vacations, Australians, Americans, Chinese, Japanese...and err many more. Got a call from someone i didn't know i missed. A guy that i once hurt before. I never meant to hurt him. I should apologize to him. Then again he reminds me of some wonderful times. Hehehehe.......

Cold War

My manager Launched "the cold war" finally. Imagine a cold war at work. How childish. I never thought it has to come to this. Well, i kinda predict it. I'm sick of thinking about this set back in my life. Everyday before i goes to work i have to mentally prepare myself. Anyway i'm gonna leave it aside.
Getting off work is my favorite moment now. Everything seems to move in a slow motion once i clock out. I enjoy the moment of me walking to the train station. Seeing everyone who is rushing back or just trying to make their way else where really makes me felt peace. People talking on phones. People laughing . People holding hands. People dreaming. People stressing. I wish i could  watch all this while drinking coffee. When i finally gets in the train it was like a sardines of people. I in my little brain are actually enjoying being squash by some cute guy behind me or my thigh squashing against some guys groins. lol.... such a whore.

Sly

Woke up kinda late today and went to work by cab. Was feeling quite good till i reach work and my manager was there. Suppose she is at another shop today. :( Then i questioned her about some stuff and she ask me to call the Human Resource department to find out my self. I called and i found out that i actually don't need to tender my resignation letter. I actually requested to be transfered to another brand. My manager told me that i must tender a resignation letter and serve a one month notice. In-fact I've already requested on January. When she mentioned about the letter was beginning of February and she ask to Date my resignation letter on 1st March and that means i only could leave end of March. Already i kept quiet about the delay and now i found out that i actually don't even need to tender a letter. That means i'm am doing her a very big favor as she can't actually find a replacement. Yet she still treats me like i'm a stranger, or a ghost in the store. I hate such act. How old is she? I can't stand it. She is acting like a kid. Talking about professionalism. My ass!!

Thanks

I was totally a shit today. I feel so awful cause my manager is actually picking faults with me. It has come to this. I always knew she was a revengeful person. She won't let go till she's okay with it. Can't imagine what's going to happen tomorrow. Thanks Andy. Your words kinda make me fell it's okay tomorrow. Thanks!!

To You My Manager.

I am someone that is afraid to die. I never wanted to disrespect you. In fact it's because i have great respect for you, thats why i'm chickening out. Not in a million years i dare to disrespect someone who i respect. That's why when i disappoint you i fall. I fall flat and i can't held my head high in front of you ever again. I know of your hopes and plans you had for me. You lay the great path with eager to see me succeed. My gratitude for that. really. Sometimes people can be right bare them self, be as open as possible but i guess at the end there are some parts that they still want to close. I'm afraid of you. I can't bare it that i have disappoint you. I think there are parts too that i can't take of you and you too have things that you can't take of me. My gratitude. Gratitude.

A Call

I called my boutique just now. We are about to have our SS'2010 press preview and the SS'2010 are not arrive yet. Well not all but more than half of it . This is not good. Something weird happen just now. I can sensed a silence on the phone just now. A silence that makes me think what would happen tomorrow. I know my manager is worried but with our condition (i mean between me and her) It's like something fishy is coming up. this always happens to the one she doesn't like. If it's before she would called and clear things off but now she would only wait till tomorrow and blast it on my face. Like an angry canon waiting to blow. This is always in my mind whenever i wake up in the morning before going to work. Isn't this sucks?

One Day

"Oh, i just moved back form UK and i'm living at AVE K apartments now. My balcony is actually facing the the two towers (KLCC) so didn't plan to go anywhere during New Year. Gonna sit at my balcony and watch the fireworks." That's what one of my customer told me today. How envious. She's actually a 85 year old lady who came to buy a bag for her daughter's Christmas present. It's just envious that at such an old age she lives stable life and hapilly too. I think every old ppl should be living like that. I hope i could give my parents all that. Well.... one day. One day i will. The day passsed as usual. No particular to shout about but as usaul there is some guys that i could go all GA GA over. Some documents at work reminds me of Bumble Bee. I kinda miss this person, maybe not the loving ones but his presence maybe. Work well gave me some stress. Okay, maybe lots of stress. I hope this would go away fast. is this a mid life crisis??? I maybe too young for it but i think i'm a million years old.