Simplicity

Anything of pure simplicity is always hard to achieve or maybe to get. Don't you realize that to just sit and enjoy the scenery sipping a cup of coffee are usually done by rich people? You got to have money just to afford the simplest things in life.
I watched a show the other day. It's about this guy who really wants to hike one of this mountain and everything. So i guess he got the chance to do it but he has never trained to rock climb. Then he got trained a few days and start climbing this mountain. It takes him 3 days to reach the peak and obviously he cannot do it alone. So his trainer will climb with him. Now the thing is, while climbing it they depend on each other a lot. As they will stay overnight on the cliff and the srcurity stuff as well. So the dreamy guy is obviously gay. The trainer is obviously straight. When you see a man takes care of another man is really a very sweet thing. Especially when you know one is gay an one is not. The trainer should have some idea that he is gay. Still he kinda care for him like normal. Well actually not very normal. cause it looks like he is taking care of a gay (not woman) instead of a buddy. It should be different cause, you know how straights with their buddy. I have always have this thing avout guys taking care of another guy. It is a beautiful thing.
I hope there is a man to do that to me. :) I'm drooling already. i should stop for today.

Sulk

I know this sounds pathetic. I'm always in these moods. I apologize. Can i just lay my self  out there in the wild, on the road or pavement and hope someone will hold me and let me cry? Someone who would see me and decides they want to care me. Someone who wants to see if i'm scared. and hold me. Someone who wants to see if i needs to cry and offer me his shoulder. Someone who wants to see if i need a hug just to feel that i'm standing straight.. Someone who wants to see if i needs a friend just so that i could feel a presence of someone i know at my side. Someone who wants  to see if I've prepared breakfast, so that he still knows i care. Someone who wants to secretly waits for me to cover the sheets for him and then goes to sleep. Someone who wants to see if i wake up earlier than him to prepare his clothes so that he knows i still love him. Someone who would watch eagerly at his phone at1pm, for my text so that he knows i still miss him.
I know any strong people would feel that these are just weak. I just started my new job. Every single people are watching my every single steps just to see if i fit my position. So i felt scared. All my best friends has gone to work in Singapore. I am really left alone here. I'm always left alone at home. I know there are nice staff at work but i can't take it as i am really sad that i am all alone. I am in great fear now. I have to put up a strong mask everyday at work. I got no one to turn to when in fact i'm so scared inside.