That Dignity story

Lost my dignity for a moment there the day before. Just happened once. Happened in a split second. But the damage is enough for Armageddon. I practically saw the atomic explosion image when it happen. lolzz...... 

 **Out of the blue two ex-ONS texted me. For the last two days i am dwelling in their flirtation. Too bad, I am available but no place. My desire went off the scale. They made me want it so so badly. Then i met a HOT straight guy. Not only HOT but it's like my fantasy came to life. Bloody gentlemen as well. (That's a killer) He then tells me that he doesn't mind being suck. Then he says he wants to try it after he finishes his cigarette. So i got all excited and at that moment i almost felt like an Angel are holding my hands. Out of a sudden, he says... err maybe not tonight.. maybe tomorrow??  So disappointed and before my face could even turn to another expression, in my mind i thought  "Nooo... Please!!" then my mouth blurted "Please??" I froze instantly with ice cold air gushing through. THAT is really THINKING out loud!!! I was so so so embarrassed. Then i started laughing and told him that i can't believe "that" just came out of my mouth. It was really just a thought and i wasn't  planning of saying it out. He says it's okay and laugh at how silly i was. Thank god he didn't go all awkward on me after that. Continued on chatting and left at 4 am. 

Pieces Of Expression

 I 

Lost 

my 

Dignity

Pieces of expressions. Things that i should tell myself and scold myself with.  Self encouragements  and yes, i did lost my dignity yesterday. Happened just once. Happened just in a split second. Ishh!!! Anyway.. woke up this morning and realized everything around me is breaking apart. Everything  is  just  something  hollow  wrapped  in  a  beautiful  exterior.

HOW?

I don't know how I could help my sister's marriage. HOW? This is so scary!!!

Where Is The Brain????

It just kills me when one is being selfish and they have not a clue that they are doing so. I just felt like taking off my underwear after gym, wet it and slap them with my underwear.

Husband gave the wife cold shoulder plus an ultimatum. Reason? Because the wife doesn't do house chores (apparently what she does is not enough) and not "being" a proper wife. "BUT" for the last two months... Husband and son has been surviving on wife's salary, cause husband's business is not doing well. Why does these rule bending mockery to the Book Of Male Chauvinism "benefit" could be shared and lavishly taken but the chauvinism rule must still stand firm??? 

FAREWELL

I will never forget the times that we had. 

Tonight i have to bid farewell to a friend who is going back to his hometown to work. So because i wont be going that area anymore? Indirectly, I won't be seeing two other friends who hangs out there too.  One of them i am quite fond of. Hopefully they would look for me next time. There is another friend too who is gonna be transfered to another area starting tomorrow. Hmm.... 

Wish them all the luck in life. 

Okay!!

Okay!! Let's just BE Awesome!!  Felt a slight excitement today. Why am i excited?? I really don't know why. I know nothing much would happen today or to night, but i am feeling quite excited. Like a boy i am excited!! lolzzz.....  I hope that, this little excitement would kick start the hurricane in me!!

Again & Again

 Felt kinda dirty lately.  Maybe it's because of the temptations around . Temptations by jerks who works around the place i hang out at night. These people can be such ass hole. Idiots!!
Well, manage to do a cover for my friend's Samsung Note. It looked quite vintage, and wayy darker. When i took the picture of it, the vintage came out as dirty instead. Took the picture with my sister's mini pad though. Using my friend's Note to take the pictures its even worst. The color came out as Dark green. lolzz.... 

Anyway...  there is these two guys that i have been hanging out with. Straight and no Sex. Both separate locations. so every night i would hang out with A first and then later i would proceed to B. I was quite happy that i found these guys. I mean it's like finally i have some permanent friends who i could chat with more often. I mean it's like finally there are at least somebody around, physically around.
 The other day "A" told me that he may not continue to work here in KL after Raya. So i was quite upset about it but have to accept the fact. Hope that he would come back though., He is still deciding. Then at the same night "B" tells me that August he would be transfered to another outlet. 

Owh.. mann...!!!!  That's just great!! They are not my lover or anything, so nothing dramatic here but i am just upset that starting August i don't have any physical friends to hang out with anymore. Have to make new friends again and again and again. Everyone i know seems to leave or left. Why can't one at least? Just be around longer?? Haihh..... like the picture... i wanna dive into the toilet!!