Out of source.

Generally I am out of candidates. The one that I wooed, gave me an impression that he wants sincerity and seems to be waiting for the right moment. Then suddenly casually says he had ONS. And i was saving just incase. So I guess I was wasting my time. 

Then suddenly my long avoided " BFF" (hated him) turns out to be quite nice when he is vulnerable. Then became the devil he usually was when went out a few times in a row. Still the same and never change. 

I start to accept even the retarded just to keep my options wider only to hope that love beats everything. It's a total insult when the "uglier"(in many aspects) thinks that they can choose. I am not sitting all mighty high, but the reality checks. What makes you think that you are in the position to choose when being able to try itself is a privilege to your existence. Don't graph your entire self by words to beg for sympathy while thinking that you have the privilege to choose. That is a total contradiction to your entire attempt to lay nude right in front of the world begging to be chosen. 

I am not saying that I am a saint here, nor I am duper good looking to write this. But I am wondering, what can you get out of excluding giving chances? 

On the side note. I dare to try and I am doing both parties a favor. Don't patronize me when you don't love me. Your fantasy are not my dreams. My desire is not yours either. Do realize where you stand. It's only when two souls understands each other then that is where it begins to flourish.  Regardless of any mili path that, that one relationship goes. If you just want instant perfection? I believe now these... You can just buy them.  Everyone have flaws. The very need of "getting perfection" itself maybe your downfall. Why are you still alone?