EIGHTEENpointTwentyFourteen.

 I went out the other night. Once again being left alone at home. Bored but happy about the new "MATTER"in my life. I went to 7 Eleven got a beer and sat outside take a ciggy and started blogging.  As I was happily writing, I met a few friends. Sat down and chat with me for a while and then left. Then another friend came. Well sounds many but all is Hi Bye friends. Better than none though. Then another friend showed up. Also chatted for a moment and then another friend came and hang out with me. At that time I was already going for my third beer

Then that was all I remembered. I woke up in the morning on the street and my stuff were all around me. I lost my identification card and my money and my wallet. When I woke up, not far from 7Eleven. I walked back to 7 Eleven to search for my IPad. Thankfully the staff kept my IPad. He says that I threw my IPad away and walked off. This never happens to me. I think my drinks got spiked. I never got drunk with just 3 beers. I could drink till 6 cans and I still could walk home.  How and why it happen? That's a mystery. I never drink till I snap out of my mind like that. I never shut off like that before. No matter how drunk I am, I always manage to get home. 

 My sister were looking for me in the morning. When I walked to 7Eleven my sister were there enquiring about my whereabouts. When she saw me she kept quiet and then scolded me when we got in the car. She cried and screamed at me. Then I received a text message from my younger sister. Giving me words of frustration. I didn't hear from my favorite sis. That means she is pissed off with me. I apologize to all of them and assure them it would never happen again. That was when I just got up and still blur and still trying to register what happened to me. I slept the whole day and woke up in the evening. 

When I came to my senses I realized that what happened was weird. I lost my stuff and money. I've got blue blacks at my hand body and at my bum. I may got robbed and I'm really worried I
 may have got rapped. The securities around that area knows I'm  gay and always ask for a free bj from me. I always reject. 

I don't have that much to spend that night. What I have only enough for me to get 3 cans of beer, maybe 4 cans tops. 4 cans never could get me drunk like that. I don't know. Maybe my mind really shut off due to my age. Maybe I really got spiked. I don't know. I'm just glad that I've only lost my wallet and not my life. What I'm upset is that no one asks for my wellbeing. Everyone just literally  assumed that I'm torturing my self and I'm being immature. This would never happens if I have a friend by my side accompanying me.

Maybe I shouldn't blame anyone. I have as much responsibility on my own life. Maybe I shouldn't
drink. At the first place. I should stop this mess that I thought would gained me friends and a social life. Please give me strength. I want to be anxiously hopeful.  I want to be an asset to my family and to A. I want to have a messy less life. Give me strength. Give me Mighty strength.