Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Having my surgery tomorrow. Left eye first and the the right eye would be two weeks after. Thought of doing both together but it's not advisable. So i wouldn't know how it would go after surgery. Hope  i could blog straight away or if i didn't then it means i would need to rest. A little scared but i guess it will all go well. 

Phrases That I Love

""Why am i attracted to a person i know isn't good?"
"Because you're hoping you're wrong, and every time she does something that tells you she's no good , you ignore it. And everytime she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over and you loose that argument with yourself that she's not for you"
" I understands feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it actually ache in places that you didn't know you had inside you. It doesn't matter how many new hair cuts you get or gym you join or how many glasses of Chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends you still goes to bed every night  going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy? And sometimes you could even convinced yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door And after all that, however long "all that" maybe you'll go somewhere new. and you'll meet people that make you feel worthwhile again, and little pieces of your soul will finally come back and all that fuzzy stuff those years of your life that you wasted that would eventually begin to fade. " "

Got this from the movie "The Holiday" It just rings bells!!! Exquisite.

How many of you have been in this position before?

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Something Ridiculous but Matters.

I think i'm a bit sad. Sad because i have been hibernating much at home and didn't go out. So today i went to 7E and saw the Nepal guy that i gaga over. Sameer is his name. I was in a bit shock too. The first time i went in to get ciggy, he wasn't around. Then i had a drink with my friend and my ciggy finish as my friend smokes my ciggy too. So when i went in the second time i was approx 10 feet away and i saw Sameer waved. With my eyes condition, i couldn't see the rest of him even his hands are blurry to me. I totally cannot see his face too. So to prevent him from making more gesture i just said i couldn't see him as i was approaching near him. Then he showed me the worried look, and ask is if  it's because of my surgery. Well he thought i already had my surgery and it didn't work out well. Then i lol and say no. Then i can see that he took a deep breath and stared at me a while. A moment of silence.Well i think he did but not sure cause even standing one feet apart i wouldn't be able to see his eyes. Then i break the silence by asking for ciggy. Then he raised his voice a bit and ask " i thought you just bought a pack just now right?"  "I saw through the CCTV earlier" Again the silent moment, and he didn't take the ciggy. I just smiled and say yeah i was sharing with my friend, that's why it finished so fast. (well actually not finish yet la. Just wanna see him a bit actually) then he sigh... and  reached for the ciggy. After that....well...i actually bought a pack of cookie for him from Ikea last month. I've kept in my bag since, Never had the chance to give him and yeah luckily he is around today. We chat a bit after that and i left. Apparently he is a good cook.
I was totally neutral when i went in. His actions shows that he worries made me felt nice. Warm.. These guys are super innocent. I know he is worried as a friend. I am also well understands that he is straight and hey "don't dream" and don't create impossible possibilities. Well it's really that innocent, that i thought to myself that i really appreciate his worries to me as a friend and it's such a loss that we could never be an item. Felt a bit pain, don't you think? Besides it's been quite long already that a friend shows me such care. So felt a bit touched. ahahahh..... well actually you guys here kinda did showed me more care than the physical friends i have. Well i am thankful to Sameer and love you guys!!