Thursday, January 31, 2013


He's so Chic. He's so Chic!!  Apparently this Turkish singer is quite famous.  At 33 he could look like that? Hmm.. i think i have no problem lah!! ahahha.... I don't know how to appreciate his songs yet though. He must have been great that so many people likes him. Or maybe i don't understand the language, that's why... he's so chic... he's so chic. He has really beautiful fingers.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Filip Jankovic

I don't know his name. I have no clue at all.
 I enquire about this guy some time back when i first saw him on bed. I went all crazy when i saw his pics by Rick Day. Got me producing pheromones for weeks!!  Don't even mention about how many times i virtually fantasized about him while traumatizing my bro.  The proportionately lean muscles. The veins at his groin. His slim longggg legs and the muscle lines along his thigh. It's like you're looking at the lines of a Bentley. It's just perfection. Love a man who is reeked of male hormones but act proportionately sensual like a woman. 

This is like a blessing.... I found more pictures.

 And the veins on his penis... it's like an elite fierce Black Mamba in a fight!!  Owh!! just rest the tip of my nose on the tip of his penis and turn both of us into stone!! 

Saturday, January 19, 2013

It's so FAST

Just laze around scratching my butt while having some
Christmas Flashback

Oh!! Wait..  i actually celebrated New Year.
 (How can i forget that??)

Owh!! shitt!! CNY is here already???

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Nice in a pleasant way.

Okay it's not that pleasant because it's incest stuff but if you don't looked at it that way then it's quite hot. The son especially. I am super super teramat GA GA over the son.  He is handsome to start with. His entire arms are so long!! His entire legs too are thin from ankle till groin and that muscle lines at his groin!!!. Then he is super slim ... making his entire built almost looks elongated. Hence making his movements looks a bit weird... like a healthy looking Gollum. He is just making me pulsed everywhere....  I like that he  doesn't  have a massive dick, So that's not scary,  but sayang he's cut.. Then after that when you notice how he try to connect , looked  stare at the other guy(supposedly his dad) and then his manjaness!!  The masculine kind of manjaness!! I swear i am floating already!!! Then when he cums? He place his head on that guy's shoulder??  and moan!!! I bagi dia OSCAR!!! This porn touches me in so many ways that i rasa nak meludah and start swearing!!  LoLzzz!!!!!!!  Boleh tak?? Hahahaah...

I like the second half of the 2nd vid more but you have to watch from the start for the storyline lah.

Saturday, January 12, 2013


SWEAR  I Will,
have to look at me 
your head held 


Wednesday, January 9, 2013


That's what i have been doing sincce 1am just now. Aarrghhh.... i have such a weak spot for straight guys!!! Like a curse. One guy. If he is straight ... you go gaga over him but when he starts talking with his fingers flying everywhere would you lost interest in him?

So since i can't sleep.. i am gonna do stuff la...  Maybe if i use up my baby strenghts then tonight i can sleep better. Have a great day ahead guys. 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013


Secara puratanya, Samir text me like two weeks once since. Every time it was quite formal and courteous. Yesterday he texted me since new year and this time it's included of words like "I miss you lots" ........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... Huh??  (can you hear the tuuut tone or not?) He is straight!!

For a moment there my hormons mendadak and i am happy like gila. Then back to reality... Apa maksudnya? Try to process it in a calmer way. Maybe he just meant it in a friendly way. Anything pun it does lights up my day. So trying to not to misinterpret it or over sugar coating it with my fantasies. Just taking it that he meant it in a friendly way. Hmmph......

Sunday, January 6, 2013


I noticed that i am so dramatically lazy. Everywhere i read. People are saying that they would join the gym. This just means that the world are gonna be infested with healthy "fairly" nice bodied people. That also means that now i cannot just look at them anymore. I mean from outside the gym. Now i have to run together with them. I think my eyes would be doing more reps than my body. But my doc says i am not allowed to run. Just walk. So i'll be bored to death. Oh no ...i forgot that they have screens at the tread mills yeah. Hmm.... then maybe i can curi curi do the sampan want... what's the word??? ..... mendayuh? Heh..heh... nah.... actually i think i would only do the walking at the park near my home. Besides i have to start completing stuff that i have started. I tend to do a little and then leave it for the next day and the same thing again the next day and the next. Such a bad habit that i've picked up, since my mom moved here. No actually My elder sis moved back too. Cause she just broke up b4 the new year!!! and yeah of course my second elder sis is also here with her baby, for her confinement. It's no fun. They sabotage everything that i have done to the house. Well of course i understand it's to accommodate more people. So i kept quiet and i realize i would go out every night now. Even without friends. I just sit alone in the park. Anyway... this post, I guess is my very own weird way of telling my self that it's dangerous out in the park. Six men may rape you. hahaha... no lah...  i have to stop doing that and start moving!! 

Saturday, January 5, 2013


It's surprise gone wrong. My sis tried to suprise me by hiring two maids to clean up my garden for me. Now it's so clean that i could roll my self on it. The problem is somethings i purposely let it be dirty they also clean it up. For instance my clay fish pond. I purposely let the edges wet all the time so that the green stuff would grow on it . I have been doing that for 3 years and now it's cleaned. This part of the floor that i always wash the leftovers sand.. slowly collecting it since 2 years ago are now cleaned!! My decorative clay duck that looks so Victorian and vintage are now like new!!  The maid redecorate my garden!! The wild plant that i love so much growing wildly behind my fish pond with the roots creeped everywhere making the place looks so aged  that i've done since 4 years ago are now being taken out!! whats worst!! the roots are all neatly trimmed and the plant now are nicely placed in a white pot, hung under another plant!! Everything and everything is being moved!!
I think i have given the most fake smile ever in my life when my sis showed me the garden. I think i have sharp edges growing out of all edges of every single thing on my face and i can actually felt my ears twitching and my glasses frame melting.. This matter were never spoken of anymore at that instant!! I must have looked like a pixie when i smiled!!

I am thankful, but really? (shakes head) (shakes head) 

Tuesday, January 1, 2013


I  just came back and sat down here around 2.30am and heard Auld Lang Syne from Ricky's blog. made me remembered that i used to read everyone's blog and why now i have stopped doing so? So i went through most of it and now it's 5am.

Commenting on Joker's post kinda made me realize that how nice if all of you bloggers are actually here. Near me. I mean i can touch physically. Not for Milk lah...but really. How nice if all of you are an actual person that i can speak to and laugh to and have drinks together. Then i guess pain and worries would be less tense cause, friends do take your mind away from whats bothering you and make you think lesser of troubles.
Anyway... leave  that aside... i had quite a shitty celebration. Hahhah... fireworks were covered by all the high rise and i am being sprayed by little kids!! Ish...
Again leave that aside.... instead when we were having drinks near my place called "Little Bally"was the most fun times of the night. Though there are nothing much done. But the calm and steady environment were quite a sweet treat. Well of course the cute sharp bartender and the sexy slim leg guy sitting behind me made it even better.

Owh..anyway i kinda tried to confront my fears yesterday by going to 7E and have a drink at the restaurant there. It has been 4 months and a week since he left. Yes though looking through ManHunt and learnt that there are actually so many Gays at Nepal. It kinda freaked me out. I must say there is that fear and sorrow but i just wanna confront it before i move into 2013. I guess i am calmer toward Samir now, as in i am kinda beginning to accept the truth. Maybe or maybe i am lying to myself. Anyhow i have to face the fear and try to budge my self. He did text me yesterday with wishes for the new year.

Bumble Bee came back months ago. His grandma passed away. Did not get to see him until he visited my sister at the hospital. My sis had a baby boy. Aydeen Mikail smth smth... Believed it or not i wept when i saw the baby and my sis. Boleh tak?? It's just overwhelming. Then I was surprised that Bumble Bee was quite courteous and acted like we never been closed. Well he didn't shut me off that i could feel but it's just quite empty. Hmm....  mildly sad about it but i am just glad that he is healthy and happy. I hope i can feel like that towards Samir though.

I have to go through another surgery sometime in 2013. It's my 10th surgery. Quite unbelievable that i have gone through that.'s not entirely a bad thing. It's because it's healing too well that my eyes are kinda pulling the tube that they planted behind my eyes away from where it's suppose to be. The little bad thing is that it's also like a time bomb. If they are not careful while surgery then it will cause my conditions to go worst. If the bomb is not disturbed then i am okay.

One big thing that i learnt in 2012 is that never to ignore. Things like because you wanna argue less and you ignore the problem. It helps on the spot but in the long run? It boils and it gets even uglier than before. In my case  all of the problems came firing back at once.

I felt like i have slept over 2010 and 2011 then i learnt everything at once in 2012 cause i felt kinda tired.  And at the beginning of 2013 i am only in the middle of all these that i am about to face. As i am documenting these down...i am not really feeling sad but instead i feel tired and really felt like mentioning it.

I hate Taylor Swift but i am listening to her now, so ironic!! Also heard from Ricky's Blog.