I am taking precautions in all areas to be strong for him. Is that stupid? It's really not that easy to keep up. Anyway ...it's not exactly a healthy thing i am doing here, but I am thinking ...well....at least there is something i can focus on? Collateral damage.
I know my face always are shiny whenever the cameras take my picture. But now i realize it was bloody shiny!! It's really shiny! It's really really really shiny ! OMG things couldn't get more worst right? I saw a Nepalese who looks like the same breed and chat with him a little. So i ask him..how much is the visa from Nepal to here? He said it's Rm15k. Really? It's that much and Samir told me his dad saved all his money in a fixed deposit till next year. It just means that he won't be coming back till next year lah??? Bummer...so my impromptu wish that he could celebrate Christmas with his family actually came through??..Yayyy.... this is just so exciting. I am so anticipated!!
I don't miss him at all just that his face appears, every 5 minutes apart in everything i do.
Anyway was replying a hot guy's mail...... and i shared this.. about my friend. I just found out yesterday She met her bf while studying in Australia.. Her bf is from Hong Kong but born in UK. After 3 months together, her bf gotta go back and do not has any believes in a long distance relationship at all. So he broke up with her and went back to UK. For 3 years my friend continues to write to him. She writes to him almost everyday, anytime and whenever she can. Believe it or not..he never replies. One day after 3 years he just appear in Malaysia and called her. Now they are living in Singapore and they are already 8 years together. Really it's very Fairy Tale -ish .... but at least you know it's not a lost hope to hope in something hopeless. (I think i have to tell myself that too) But it's always like that don't you think? We always just do our best and hope there are no regrets and sometimes between the way, your course may be re-directed but at least we have tried sincerely. Again things are just bizarrely ironic. This Fairy tale just sound so misleading to my current situation. Then again who dares to stand up and take lead to deny that it might just happen to me? So how do we fit practicality in this? Which path should we bet on?
The house opposite my house is rented by a group of African guys some time ago. So everytime when i do gardening, "if" they happen to call for pizza, they will come out receiving the pizza with just an underwear. If they happen to be smoking at their car porch at that time?? They will hang out there with just an underwear. Already they are naturally built in with muscle and i heard they are super gifted. Not that they does it all the time but when they do? They just does it with underwear only...Don't they know that it stirs the peaceful "chi" of the area? I just hope i am watering their plants instead of mine.......... Just sometimes!!
I happen to be standing in front of my standfan when this song came up. Blast the volume to max and plug it to the ear and with the wind blowing you. It charges!! It really charges!!! TOTALLY AVENGERS!!!
It has sways been like that. How come? I found out that one of the guy i used to like for years that never reveal that he is gay had a boyfriend. My high school crush that plays basketball like a stallion who is so straight had a gay guy's fb profile in his fb family list After 15 years.
Is it something i did? Remember about grabbing opportunities and taking chances ? You work and pursue of what you want? Believe and have faith? Did i not do that? Didn't i....? To think collectively, i have been turned to ashes multiple times. then when you don't let it matter and don't think collectively...i have SURVIVED!! Heck......I don't even remember some things from the past, but how many times? How many times should i rise up again?
When was the last time you felt beautiful? Ever remember when you look in the mirror and say "why not?" Do you ever felt like you are ugly but the thought of everyone is beautiful in their own way comes into mind? Well, this is one feeling that can shut you down multiple times and yet we still built it up. Actually how long can this "be holding" you up?