Tuesday, September 5, 2017


I wonder if anyone still reads these blogs. When im sad? These blogs are the ones i would think of. Somehow writing OUT stuff, does carries out some sorrows.

Remember there is this best friend of mine that i unfriend from my Facebook? He is an obnoxiously self centered. ASSHOLE.  He went studying in UK and came back recently. I really don't understand. Why someone so brutally hated by all his friends could come back looking all beautiful???? He came back looking better than ever. His skin is beautiful. He who is one year my senior, now looks years younger than me.
He is like THE fruit of desire wherever he goes. Even his Grindr list are like from the elite model list. Ive never seen those guys appear around me or in my grindr at all. Its definitely not botox or surgery. All he does was gym and he has a killer body now. Looking all sharp and dapper. My only consolation is that he walks like he is trying to keep a ping pong ball in between his arse cheeks, from falling.

Yes i know his hard work paid off. But im really (kinda) hurt by all that he is getting. He is an ass. Bad attitude and a show off. Me on the other hand are getting no where by being all good. Its things like that that test your faith isn't it?? Well im not about to let go. I did start to work harder (loosing my tummy) I have a face that cant change anything unless i go for a surgery.

For fuck sake. I want a boyfriend. I want to just settle down. How is it possible that i never had a boyfriend at 36. Where else he gets 36 fucks a week????  LIFE IS JUST UNFAIR.

Monday, March 27, 2017


I just came backfromPyramid. It was a fairly good night. Unroll I met this Chinese guy in the toilet. I would say he is beautiful.
He was wearing. Black tee. Aristocratic green  shorts. New balance shoes. Colourful shoes. The way he moans are so motivating.  He likes it when I slide in slowly with my mouth. He reacts in all the right places.  I think he is delicious. He doesnt smell at all. Smell of sweat or stale hair. He smell so fresh everywhere. His underwear smells like the fresh laundry. He even position his feet right under my knees. Super gentleman. He is brutally beautiful.
I wanted to pass him my name card, but he left so fast.  I'm so disappointed right now. I never felt so helpless before.  I have no whatsoever way to reconnect with this beautiful soul again. Please. If you are reading this.
Please please contact me through my instagram. TWOHORNSCHILD.
You are wearing Black tee.Green shorts.New Balance Shoes. Black Calvin's.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016


Just How many layers would one have? I have been redirecting myself over and over again. Picking up my layers again and again. 
There are choices. I made choices. Choice didn't choose me. I recollect, Went back and make another choice. Again choice didn't choose me. So I recollect and go back again. This time there are only the balance of  what i call the "not my type". Then suddenly i realize the balance ones isn't really that bad after all.  But it's already too late. Even the balance ones starts to have mountainous pride now. I think I have gone through this so so so so many times. This is so tiring. 

If that is not the case? I go gaga over the straights. Well you know how straights are. All the planing and all the careful tactical moves and money spent. Just to proves that he is "in fact" straight. Sometimes it paid off in sex though, but in the end they will still go back to their original shape. 
i'm so into edging these days.Well... it has been forever actually.  Damm it makes me drip like crazy and it's hot. I think its because i drip every night that's why in the day i can contain my self as a human, and not turning into a werewolf.. My social circle of friends are only my colleagues. That's why discipline is crucial. Can't really do wrong here cause  my brother in law is partner in this company too. So Bummer... i have to be all the bright shining perfect staff.

Thursday, June 16, 2016


The LRT is gonna be up and running soon. I cant wait and im super excited. LOL... like a boy i'm exited. 
I have been working at NZX Commercial Centre. If anyone ever know where is that. So its quite convenient for me. There is a station near my house and there is another near my work place. Just awesome. I hope the gym at Evolve would open soon. I really have to gym. Well actually I'm just gonna do the same stuff I do at home but I think I'll focus more when I'm in a gym. Ha ha ha.... 
Why is it so difficult to loose weight. Ever!!!????  I hate food as much as i need them. 

I think it was last year I came to like this guy. My boss's elder brother. Now as time pass by, the feeling is gone. He started working somewhere else and I never seen him at all. I think now I'm falling for my boss's youngest brother. 

I think it's all because i don't go out to socialize. They are the only ones i dwell with and naturally i would choose the beautiful ones to be pampered. Besides recently i tag along his ride back home most of the time. This time i think i have to refrain myself from going crazy. Which i believe that i can. He is beautiful but there is only so much one straight guy can take. That is all a straight guy can give. So ... i cannot take more and just be strictly discipline. That is untill .. "if" untill im being offered something else. Hahaha....... . Well... i just wanna love and love properly. 

Sunday, June 7, 2015


I was hugging him. We were hugging actually. He trembles when i move my palm. He just came. There is a pool of cum on my palm. I uses his cum as a lubricant. I smear it all over his swollen head. Continue to rub his bare head with my hand. It's damm sexy, i cannot comprehend  guys that loves to continue being harass after they cum. I think i throb and came in my pants multiple times while working on him. He hugs me tighter when i move faster. "Please!" "Please!" "Aaahhh i cant take it!!  Please don't stop!!" 

When i move slower i can feel his tensed muscle eased but not entirely free from that electric trail. He breathes hard but calm. His warm breath against my neck makes me wanna kiss him and make him scream at the same time. The surrendered helpless feeling is just evil and seductive. 

I've met and suck this guy a few times before. There is just something sensual about this guy. When i see him or when he saw me in the mall. We'll automatically head straight to the toilet. We will have an intense moment but ironically he never suck me. In fact he never touches my bulge. But i get wet every time. Now !! That's powerful. Hahahah..... 

Im prepping for my boss's wedding in August. Were lazy though. Didn't exercise at all. I gain weight quite fast. Thought of exercising this weekend. I sprained my neck and i can't do it. So i have to exercise my other organ instead. I very much still think of A. He is all i think about when i have free time or when i masturbate. I really wish i could make love to him. I shall look beautiful in August. I shall make him notice me. This is vain and insane. 

Wednesday, May 27, 2015


Went to Redang and came back. This picture above is the picture of my boss. I like this picture damm much. It's taken at one of the market at Terengganu. 
It was a company trip. The trip there was quite torturous. Rented van broke down 3 hours away from our destination. Have to figure out how to dump this van and rent another. Then we have to charter another speedboat from another destination, just so that we could reach Redang on schedule. By the way if anyone likes adventure. Going to Pulau Redang by speedboat from Merang Jetty is awesome. You wont regret it. But you have to charter a speedboat with Rm500++. There are 10 of us. So the fare is shared by everyone. So it's okay. Here are some pictures. 
Those were the front view of the hotel. Actually this hotel has an icon. It's one of their souvenir shop. I am stupid enough to missed taking a picture standing in front of it!!! It was quite tiring actually. I feel that we are rushing all the time. Rush for meals. Rush for snorkeling. Rush to explore. Hmm... our trip was 3 days 2 night. I think we need more than that. I think we need some quality quiet resting time. I feel that It defeats the purpose of vacation, if we don't get to rest at all. The following pictures are views from the dining area. 

 The rest below would be the snorkelingsss.
The end note of this trip was pleasant actually. It was a 7 hour drive from KL. I got to share a room with my boss and my boss's best bud. They are cool. I actually manage to plan this trip. I don't really believe that i did it but i did. So i felt a tiny wee bit of achievement there. Lolzzz..... 

As for "A". He is doing well at his new office. I'm glad that he is doing fine. I do still thought of him everyday. The intensity has become milder but he is still very much alive in my thoughts. I missed him but at the same time i felt stranded. There is nothing that i can do but to  just let nature takes it's course. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2015


How come  i see myself as moderate sometimes? How come sometimes i think I am beautiful? How come sometimes i feel down right ugly. I don't hurt people. I am those kind that i would help you if i can. I will clean the office if you are not free. I will go down to buy you drink if you are not free. Somehow my generosity comes across as "PLEASE BULLY ME" Maybe they think that being funny is a tool to tell people they are comfortable with us. It's annoying me. Sometimes i avoid talking more just to avoid from being harassed. 
My boss kinda is the nicest guy in my office. We always talk like friends, He always starts and end the sentence with my name.  I find that very intriguing. Lolzz... cause it just simply felt that you are being respected.  I am just trying to say that we talk like buddies. Last friday he told me some of his problems and some personal stuff. I just be there and listens. Now i don't know how to react. The last time he was sending me home. So the conversation stopped when i reach home. If it's me, i would like my friend to ask me more when they see me again. But this guys is independent and strong in nature. I am afraid that if i ask? He would find me a nuisance. Bothering him maybe? hmm.... Whatever it is. This guy will always have my greatest respect. He is just top notch. 
About the guy that i allegedly love? I don't dare to contact him. I felt like texting him, but again i scare that he would avoid me. Somehow i have this decision of sending him a bouquet of  sleek champagne roses on his birthday. Which is in October. Not gonna write my name but just gonna sign off as "From A Friend To A Wolf" I wonder if he could guessed it or not. If he does get to guess, and if he ever ask me why flowers? I couldn't think of any other answer but to answer 

"Because everything beautiful must be treated elegantly" 

Of all answer? That's what i could think of. Hahahahaahah... Frankly speaking. I don't know why i somehow think that he seriously would like receiving flowers.  You think straight guys would freak out??