Sunday, June 24, 2018

So Far

How could it be that when you met a guy that is 90% of your dream guy, and you're worth 0% to him? Maybe you should get to know each other more. Maybe you have to woo him more.
The incredible evil truth  of a one night stand. Within 4 hours you have to impress intellectually, sexually, lifestyle and many more.
It's so heartaching that you see the future you want and you can't get hold of it. Suddenly you must tug in your muffin tops. Hide your blackheads. Wear your best tops. Nicest underwear. Wear your nicest watch. Diamond ear rings. Brush your teeth. Slick hair. Shaved. Re-organise your home interior. Fresh bedsheets. Freshen the air. Clean the bathroom n the room. Change the channel to HBO. After all that, you must talk smoothly. Don't smoke if he doesn't. Don't drink if he doesn't. Kiss him first. With an impressive kissing skill. Suck seductively. Try to make your small dick look bigger. Moan appropriately. Make sure he cums explosively.

Then after all that... the after sex moment. You try to make him stay. Or try to create a next opportunity. But at the same time see your dream guy preparing to leave. Wondering will there be a next time.

Well in my case it doesn't seem like it's gonna happen again. It's the most painful feeling seeing him leave. Yeah it's just a first meet but I'm terribly smitten. He is all I ever wanted.

Monday, November 13, 2017


I met a guy at Pyramid toilet. Was dead horny and i went hunting. These people are very arrogant these days. They are super picky. Well me on the uglier side of the world... obliviously don't get much to eat.
Anyway i got this guy. Saw his shadow. He was masturbating. So i signaled him to kneel down so that i can masturbate him under the stall. ( Come to think of it.. what if he is straight?? I would already got bashed up!! ) He kneel down and i began to reach for his tool. He wasn't very professional cause he doesn't know how to kneel the way the situation needed. The way he kneel doesnt expose much of his cock, instead it felt a bit shorter. so i have to reach for it on the other side. My hands were like the guy from Fantastic four. ( proves the theory.. when you really want it, you'll get it ) Due to the difficulties, i signaled him to move to the other cubicle. The ones with the squat toilet bowls, cause it's bigger.

He came out. Usually this is the moment of the UGLY TRUTH. Guys usually check you out at this time and if you're his type they'll proceed to the cubicle. If you're not his type they'll look away and walk out. That is why many likes being under stalled!!! This time. This guy likes me. He followed me in.
Frankly speaking... This guy is practically my dream guy. Skinny enough to look healthy. His face is very cute but his skin was worst than mine. His acne scars were very obvious. Nerdy hair and nerdy glasses. BIG BIG cock. A typical living proof of Skinny guyz big  big dick. Not only big cock but it was shaped so nicely that i can suck it all in. Even it's half way down my throat it doesn't gag me. Everything was just beautiful at that moment.  His veins were like its popping out and it was perfectly placed.  His dick is so hard, his mushroom head is so shiny. He must have been damm horny. He last a bit too long though, i must say. Cause my jaw seems to start loosing it's grip. I really love how he bents a bit trying to endure my palm grinding his really hard head. The amazing part is that he was trying to endure it. Most guys would pushed me away and claim that it's too ticklish. This guy is actually taking it in and enjoyed it. 

Damm... i can feel my pre cum flowing out typing these details out. I don't know why i really enjoyed sucking him. he even wipes off my sweat while i was blowing him. Finally he cums in my mouth. I started sucking a bit harder and slide up and down while i feel his penis swell up and start pumping out all that juice. i fucking love to feel penises pulsating and swell in my mouth. After he came. I woke up and start to wipe my sweat off and freshen up. suddenly he stared at me and gave me a kiss and blushed. That was so fucking cute. 
I gave him my name card and ask him to text me. I really felt like a boy , excited with the new found lovey feeling. I was ecstatic when he texted me. We chat for hours and i asked him does he has a bf? He says no. Then i ask him can i have him then? ( I know it's too early. it was partly joke and i am gonna know him better again before being steady) He didn't say yes but he answered "im the kind that, When we go out you must sponsor everything"
That was BAD. after that i ask again and again. Asking about him is all our conversation is about. He never ask anything in return. He just answers. Since he is not responding much, out of spike ( i know i very bad in a way) i asked him that would he let me suck again the next time i'm there? He kept quiet and didn't answer my text till this morning. That too is when i text good morning. He just replied "Morning". Nothing else. My text instead are full of smileys and gestures. I felt like this would be a very tiring relationship and also one sided. Well, its obvious that i mustn't continue with wooing this guy. It's Sad that something so beautiful must end so fast. 

Monday, November 6, 2017


It's sad that my bosses decided to close the company. That wasn't the worst.. the worst is that...just because my brother in-law is the boss. I'm am automatically on the most hated list. But in fact the person who doesn't want the company is not my brother in law. it's the other boss. 

You would think that human is with feelings. all these while everything i do i thought of everyone. Everything i buy i will buy extra and treat them. I would buy additional stuff so that when needed they can use. Every single shit i do i thought of them. As i was clearing some stuff just now, i realize 7 out of 10 stuff is mine. I bought it under my own expense for their convenience. I didn't even claim from the company. You would think they would appreciate it. In this case.... im fucking wrong. This is a very classic example of when you hope for hope , God slap you once more and still you must have faith. Find any excuse to forgive them. Arrrghhh... im very surprise of their reaction. It's not that im their enemy b4. We are in good terms and they can just flip on you like that. 

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Just a little bit sad.

Just because i'm the boss's brother in law it doesn't mean that i made the call. Why make me the enemy. I felt like it's trivial but my heart aches. Hahah... so drama. but yeah.... cant lie. It Hurts. Cant believe it that whatever i do, i think of nine person's welfare all these while but the 9 doesnt back me up during dire times. Scary huh. 

Thursday, October 26, 2017


Was watching this short film from you tube and this guy made a statement. " People still smokes these days?" Im quite surprise that it has come to this. Im 70%GLAD and 30% still feel wanna cheat sometime.

I quit smoking and smokes socially. I know the "thing" now is vaping. (The ever so pungent smokes that destroys every existing perfume)

Well, all i really wanted was to spend a night with a sexy guy (of my definition) (usually skinny weak guys) just casually smoking (not CF) and gradually get wasted. Drinking + smoking + good conversations + good sex (this would be bonus) Spending the night away without any restrictions on conversations, a little blowjob, a little bit drunk, a little bit emotional, a little bit wild. a little bit naughty, plus 30% sober.  These are really the good sessions that i've missed so much. I really have a hard time being able to get back such moments. Believe it or not... the best time ive had was with just booze ciggy and great conversations.

Everyone i met these days are just not like these. Where i work. My colleagues are all malays. Im the only chinese. They smoke but they don't drink. Most guys i met online or Grindr or Blued are all the same. Drink but dont smoke. Smoke but dont drink. or JUST VAPE.

Really missed the cool or what i call cool chill night.

Friday, October 20, 2017


What should i do?

This ONS guy is damm sexy. he is not handsome but he is damm sexy. I can lick off his pre cum from his penis slit and immediately his pre cum comes out again. its mind bothering... how fast his pre cum cums out. Then when i lick again, his penis would pulse once. It's like you reloading a machine gun. you can see his foreskin tightens, his head pulls back a little and and his veins. Nearly fainted.

He is not good looking but i can accept .Itt doesnt matter actually. I already consume every inch of his body. Only thing that i dont like is that when he smiles he doesnt look nice. You know like Andrew Garfield? when he smile, all his good looks go away.

The biggest miracle is the fact that his penis is still rock hard after he sees me naked. PLUS The weather was hot and im all sweaty like a pig. He miraculously still hugs me and cant stop smelling my face. He cuddles non stop. Really awesome. Really really awesome.

He is damm discreet and super shy. So i cant contact him much. i thought i wanna leave it be. Leave it as one of my super hot ONE NIGHT STAND. But i cant. He is too hot to be forgotten. There was this one moment where i was looking down from above to his penis. my face was beside his face and when i looked down. my vision has to pass through his six pack and to his beautiful penis. I never thought he was packing so many packs!!! I was In awe.
In awe and when he was about to cum...??? That perfect beautiful sight was addictive.

The second time happened while i was in the midst of writing this post. Havent even post this first post and second time already happen. We rented a room. It was crazier this time.

He is quite discreet. He gave me a feeling that he would back out if i text him too much. But at the same time i am afraid that im letting a chance go. So TORN. Im so Torn... He left me so TORN so HARD so WET.... and so DEFEATED. .

Monday, October 16, 2017


At This point of your life , you just wanna feel a little bit more safe. Loved a little bit more. You want to make sure you are gradually happy. JUST a zillion more richer. A little bit more stable.  You also constantly try to step up a little bit more on your quality of life. Sometimes i feel like i wanna adopt a child, or maybe have one of my own. I Babysit all the time anyway, might as well care for my own child.

Look at MATT & BLUE. Its envious. At this point of my life should i be still looking? I should already have someone to share with, but god just has to forbid. They say god is arranging a hottie for me. So I just have to give in and hope. Patiently and calmly waiting, while i masturbate everyday to wait for my prince charming.

Men and Money. What else? As cliche as it sounds. These two elements do play a very big part in my life. I assume everyone's life too. LOVE and MONEY.  The DEVIL and LUST. The ANGEL and HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Anyway i'm just ranting. Disappointed i am but still with a little bit of hope.