Friday, April 30, 2010

It's Not Worth It

My dad and mom came over last few days and visit me. My dad is a very quiet man. He doesn't say a thing, Doesn't scolds us but when he put on the serious face and give us a serious talk, we will all surrenders and cry. My mom is totally the opposite. It's like my mom took all of my dads angry genes and plant it in her self. She talks and nags non stop. She can goes on forever. Both of my parents loves me and my sister unconditionally.
Example. I always make sure i lock my room door when ever i go to work when they are here. I know my mom has this habit to clean. So i actually forget to lock my door this time and thats what exactly happens. She cleans. She hand wash all my clothes. She clears my cupboard. Thats where i keep my porns and dark secrets. That's why i hate it when she does what she does. I'm furious that they do. I got really angry and actually throwing tantrums at them. They too already expected that.  Actually i'm not all the heartless. I'm really touched. I came back and there is a super clean room. Dinner ready and whats worst she has back pain.
But what she does is not worth it. I am grateful but i don't deserve it. I'm not successful. I am not financially secured. I can't give her money. Imagine having a son that is near 30 and still needs her to do all that?? I'm suppose to be able to hire a maid to help her out instead. Or give her money to go around the world. My parents has been living a hard life all along. What i thought i could give , i couldn't and what's worst i have this eye thingy and making me have difficulties at work and actually jeopardizing it as well.
I am just what i am. Having a mid- life crisis at this time really kills me emotionally and i already know i have to climb up. Grab this opportunity and kill the bad luck. What my parents does has touched me deeply, but i really think they shouldn't because it's not worth it. Really not worth it.. I hurt them enough and don't deserve it.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Much To Do

I just started my new job after a 20 days medical leave. It's great when i can see again. The Joy of being able to look at cute guys and i really mean gorgeous guys. On my first day to work, i see tons of cute guys and there is one who really got me ga ga. You know the ones who makes you feel breathless and your heart fainting? Anyways, can't focus much on him as i have tons of stuff to catch up with.
There are so much i have to do and so little time. There is this staff transfer program going on. They practically transfer the whole group and the other group from another outlet would come work in my store. Hopefully the ones who are coming are cute and adorable. The bad part is this. I am new and i know not much and new people are coming?? Hmmm.... I won't look good.  so there is much to do and catch up.
During my medical leave, I gain much weight without me realizing it. and whats worst is... most of my weight is on my face. Sharks!!!

Friday, April 23, 2010

One Degree

Just one degree, and it changes the world. Thats the thing i hear about the whole day. every channel i change to and whatever i watch. It has to be about saving the world. What actually have you done to save the world? I think i'm gonna plant a tree a month. I like trees and it cools the place down. I have already been recycling the papers. Reducing plastic bags. Well kinda think of it i haven't been doing much. i guess i am gonna post any easy ideas that come across next time. We have to think about the world.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I'm suppose to rest

Like i mentioned, i should rest and here i am blogging at 3.30 in the morning. Nothing really happens while i wait till my eyes heal. I do miss bumble bee though. I hope he is doing fine. Me on my part are trying my best to reciver and kinda get excited till i get back to work but still am a bit lazy.. lol... I wonder how many people are happy and how many are sad now? Guys i hope everything is well for everyone.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

At What point

At what point will your pleasure satisfy you? Once upon a time just a simple bulge would make me go crazy. Just watching a hot guy run around with a trace out bulge or even just a guy not wearing a top would get me masturbating. Pre cum starts flowing out and could even get me hard for the whole day. Now with the much exposure and after many blowjobs. It's getting harder to satisfy ourself don't you think? With the all exposed pictures on the net and even easy download porn just gets you harder to satisfy yourself. I'm not going against it... these things should live forever. I'm just saying we humans just simply seeks more. Now i actually enjoyed being doubled suck. It's just the moment when you cum and the guy continue to suck even harder right at the most vulnerable moment, making your whole body tensed up pulsating in pleasure.  it's the rare view of unexpected moments actually gets you go crazy. Like maybe a guy with a hard on in the train, or a peek at the guy pissing beside you, an unzipped pants, or a peek into a guys shorts. The pure simple truth of hard to get get moments actually gets you even hornier. Don't you agree?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

At Last

Sorry guys, I haven't been posting lately. I have some complications with my eyes lately. The virus came back i guess and i went almost blind. Maybe this is karma. Bad things I've done before. Anyways it's getting better today , but i still have to read like 6mm away from the screen. These few days really made me think of many of my old times, that now raised many question of "what if I've..... " Well gonna tell you guys know one by one when the next time i blog. Kinda juicy actually. Hahaha..... LOL.....Right now i hope my eyes would get better. My vision is sorta like the picture.

Monday, April 5, 2010


Watched a movie yesterday. It's called "Eternal Summer" got me thinking very much. It's about this childhood friends. One love the other and the other is straight. The gay one somehow kept it by himself and it reminds me of myself. The straight guy somehow really cares unconditionally for the gay guy(without knowing he's gay) The picture above is a movie stills, i just love how when a man take cares of another man.There is this scene that i hate where the straight wants a night out and make the other all happy and panting. Suddenly his girlfriend turn up at the disco as well. I think that is a hateful act and very lame. Then i hate the quote " i know you love me , i will always be your best friend" That's the thing, we've already been best friends. That's exactly what i don't want. I want to love you. Best friend is just not going to do it.

Friday, April 2, 2010


Bumble Bee really left to Singapore and not a word from him. After all that i have done for him..... don't i even earn a place as a friend at all? I am damm worried about him. I refuse to actually know how is he at Singapore. Wonder how long i could stand doing that.
I just started working in my new place. Was given a manager post and it is actually the biggest store in the world. (To my surprise) Not that it's very big but just its the biggest for the brand. New colleague was scary and kinda rude in a funny way. I hope i could get to handle such big profile. Just have to get used to it. Wish me luck guys. Already i have some colleague hitting on me.  hmmm.... this is dangerous, as i sometimes can't deny temptations. AIKS!!!