I had my hair cut the other day. My usual stylist was out, so i ask for the next in line instead. J. When i look at J, i think that J feels like the picture above. Humble, dorky and has zero idea that he himself is raging sexy kinda bodoh-bodoh feel. Lolzz... damm cute. He is also from the Zero-fat breed. Damm lucky..
I first saw him, it was two years ago, might be longer. Since then i am already gaga over him at first sught. You know the kind where once you saw him and you will start to "fat hau". Almost in fantasy land. your whole body starts to flex and perks everywhere, then your guts tightens and your underwear seems to know how to slides down by itself,!! Suddenly you are ridiculously happy. You start smiling with backlight behind your eyes!! You'll have a permanent smile even though you are only staring at a can of hair spray.
I chat with him once only though through out the years. That's also just for 30 minutes. That was before CNY this year. My stylist asked for his help to iron my hair. I never really thought of seducing him tough. He looked damm straight and i can't see myself having such luck. You know it's the kind where once you look and you know he won't be gay at all, and automatically even he is fucking gorgeous you just know that there is no point to pursue.
So through that chat i did my investigation. With speed. I got to know his name. He is living with his girlfriend at this area near my place. She is from overseas. He jogs every morning, and many other stuff. Because my stylist is not him, so i barely get to talk to him. Practically zero interaction. I only gets the courtesy greetings whenever he saw me.
Every time when i saw him i would go all nuts. So was that day, only that it's a bit better this time. I requested J to cut my hair instead, since my stylist is at their other outlet.
He waited for me outside the shop cause i told him i was across the road buying coffee. He was bored i guess. When i went in, the place is practically empty. One staff is at the back and another is at the reception desk including me and J. That's all. Anyway i told J how i wanted my hair to be. Showed him pictures and stuff. After the discussion he begin to cut my hair.
For the first 30 minutes, we were silent. For the second 30 minutes, he initiated a topic. So from there on we chat quite a bit. Third 30 minutes, we went silent again applied some cream all over my head and it's only "I need to rinse your hair". Through out the whole session i kept on stare at him through the mirror. Not until he notices of course. I only does it when he is not looking. The fourth 30 minutes, my stares and stress got more intense though. Because he is really adorable. I have this massive urge to just grab him and suck his lips. My imagination went to Mars and came back in minutes.
The fifth 30 minutes he has to apply some cream on my whole head again and he was doing it section by section. While he was doing towards the centre of my head. He lower the seat and he leaned his entire bulge at my arm. When that happened. I think i blacked out. Almost had a seizure. I'm sure i almost fainted. I totally don't know what to do. I do intent to dirty my hand there for a second, but that was too risky. You know my hands are under the plastic covers, so if i really grab his bulge no body would really see it. Even if there is i wouldn't mind. I am afraid more of his reaction though. What if that thing touching me is his hip bone instead? Cause it was quite hard. So i didn't do the grab.
Frozed for a while and with my stealth thinking. The first thing i blurted out was, "How is your girlfriend?" (If my hands were not under the covers? I'd slap myself.) Anyway he answered that she is working oversea now. Visits him once in a while. That explains the hard on. If that was a hard on. I dig deeper then. I asked him who is he living with now then? He says he is living alone now. Then the next question i asked almost immediately after that was, does he likes to drink? Cause if i want to get him, i must have beers to be brave. He said yeah and tells me some of his drinking stories. awww... fucking adorable.
Back to the part where I'm not sure about his bulge or it's his hip bone that is touching me. You know how when you are having a hair cut and when you rest your arm on the arm rest? Sometimes your elbow would touch the stylist's bulge(accidentally) when the stylist didn't notice your elbow. That kind of incident only happens ages ago. Now it's sort of like a known fact, that's why now these you hardly get to "intentionally" accidentally touch the packages. OR unless it's intentionally done by the beholder of the package.
I ran some test. He was doing it to both of my arms. I only dares to execute my test during the third time he touches me. So when he return to my left arm i try to caress his bulge with my elbow. Damm.... i could still feel it now. I looked into the mirror when i did it. Staring right at his face. With the position that he is in and with his height i am quite sure it's his bulge. When i moved my elbow he didn't moved away though. Instead he pushed harder. I love these scandalous moments. It's like you're pouring red wine on your body to be consumed by a flaming tongue. LOLzzzz....... I'm going nuts.
At that point i am still not sure that everything that i thought happening, was really happening. So my actions were small. Still don't dare to do it officially, because he is not acknowledging his actions. So at that point i am still not that sure yet. Suddenly my initial hair stylist came back. Bummer, Right after that his style of doing everything is different. He doesn't stand that close anymore and seem to know where to avoid and stuff. So by noticing such big difference. I am thinking that what happened just now didn't happen by accident. I am not fantasizing or making it up in my head. It must be real right? My translation on the incident is that, he don't mind having sex with me but due to the situation, where we are not close, I'm his customer plus he has a girlfriend. So he is being discreet.
I cannot let such chance pass me by. I took his number. I ask for his name card actually. He gave it to me. (could be business courtesy) then i ask if his handphone number is on it? The card doesn't has his number , he took back the card and additionally add another sticker on it , to write his number. While he is writing it i told him that maybe one day i'll ask him out for a drink. He answered okay. (it could be for the sake of manners) I also told him that he could ask me out too, since the system has my number. He answered okay too. (might be out of being polite) At close range... his lips are pink. fresh pink and his face is so smooth.
I hate that with everything that happens, it comes with two sides of possibilities at least. Now i got his number and i don't know what to do with it. I did text him on that day itself though. Because he didn't tell me how many days i shouldn't wash my hair after the treatment. His phone was off at 8pm ish. So i guess he off his phone while at work. So i was right. At 10pm ish i receive a reply . "3 days" just a "3 day". When i see an empty text like that i usually interpret it as, "that person is fucking not excited about texting me at all" then again that might be his style. He doesn't talk much anyway.
I decide not to dwell in the guessing games. I told myself to be frank to everyone i've met . So that everyone doesn't waste time. So everytime i met a new person, I'll tell him that i am gay and I'm partially blind. Then if i wanna have sex with him i'll just tell him that i am interested and if he is okay with it we could proceed. If not then, just answer NO and we proceed as friends. There! everything is crisp clear. I don't need to guess ten thousand possibilities for every single thing he does.
But with J i don't know what to do. Should i just let it be natural? Go through the process? I am not denying the magic in these games. The waiting joys. The guessing mysteries and all. I must say, what happened was fun and yes till now i am still smiling about it. There is a sheer joy in it. That is how the world spins.
I saw a movie the other day. "A LOT LIKE LOVE" yeah everything falls into the right places but the game lasted for six years.
Im not moody or sad or anything. Part of why i thought of not going straight forward, be natural and be organic, is because he is attached. Then i was pondering on the "what Ifs" then the "possibilities". So if this is happening., and i choose the natural course, The last time i saw him was at the beginning of the year. Not saw but talk., actually talk. A significant moment with him i meant. I see him all the time when i am there for my hair cut. So in a year i only get to talk to him twice including the other day. I have known him for about 2 years ish. I only get to talk to him after 1 year. So everything is not moving very fast. You know what i mean?
Imagine how many nights i have to pour cold water on my dick, to calm it down.
Leave everything aside. I want him, at the same time i don't wanna spoil a relationship. Two actually. My friendship and his relationship. Anyway, If anything is gonna happen, I don't wish this to be just a hook up for this one. Lets see.. Lets see... Lets hope that i don't do anything stupid out of impulse.
So. I will start working in my brother in-law's advertising company. I have zero knowledge in designing and i am not tech savvy. Basically i am stupid when i step into the company. I was told that i would be taught to use everything that is necessary to do the basics. Like brooms, pail, and detergents. Lolss... :) I am quite excited about this idea though. The only thing that i don't like is my brother in-law. I despise him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. Well, for the sake of "Life" i'll try to withstand this ass-hole. So i'll probably start next year in February. 
