Sunday, August 17, 2014


I'm trying to fly?? Ha ha ha.... Everything needs precision and the perfect time to launch. I'm working at my brother in laws' office now. I was under a bit of depression a while ago. I have these frequent anxiety attack that really pulls my mood down. It's so severe that it is affecting my presence. I felt awry all the time. Like I'm walking on nothing. 
Now after a while, when the withdrawals are not so bad anymore. I begin to feel happier everyday. I begin to see more possibilities. I even become quite ambitious. Well, what I want is not easy and it takes lots of planning. Now? What I want seems like a joke or a dream that is quite far fetched. I do somehow always have this urge that  forces me to work towards it though.  So it means no                                       
In the mids of all this, when I'm feeling so weightless and weak. I oddly finds that the idea of having a man beside me calms me down. Substantially calms me down. When I think or imagine that if have a boyfriend? I felt like I could fly. I felt like there are nothing I couldn't do. I can't wait for tomorrow. Suddenly!!, I realize that I was dreaming? I'll go all hopeless again. Such force. Such wonder a guy could do to me. Interesting but useless at the same time

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