Thursday, February 20, 2014


Why do i sleep everyday thinking that tomorrow is gonna be a hectic day? Not in a negative way but at the back of my head it's somehow messy. Add on to that, i have sisters and mom that interrogate everything i do. Even putting a plant in my room seems like a crime. Then they wanna ask me why am i so grumpy everyday. Why the long face?? Hmmm.... i know they are worried of me but i think it has become a habit. Now every single thing i touch is being questioned. Even though its not necessary!!! 
 So i became very evil in their presence, even though im very angelic in nature. Always have to wear this protective layer around me self. So now i realize it's making me stop doing anything. Everytime i wanna do something i felt that it's such a nuisance. Well, apart from masturbating. I practically don't feel like doing anything. Actually i have tons of ideas and stuff that are bursting in my mind. There are so many stuff i wanna do. I'll held back everytime i thought of their face and quesion. Such a bummer.
Anyway, i always wondered if the anus is slippery enough and when i spread my legs apart like that. How would it felt like being entered and enter. And i always wondered would i still be hard while being fuck. Been fuck before once i think or twice but never a proper one. So i didn't make it official. I should try this one day. I think i would only do this when i have someone that i really trust though. So i can thrust and be thrust. Maybe it's exceptional when he's hot.  Maybe!!!

Monday, February 17, 2014


 I'm in agony.HOW? HOW? HOW? I can't stay still. I'm Flapping here and there. I know this guy via Grindr and now i don't dare to chat with him again. You know this feeling where you are too afraid to loose. I mean as in the fear of him doesn't want to chat with you anymore.  In my opinion he is beautiful. He is so  exquisite that if i stare anymore harder, I'm afraid that he would crack. It's just a bloody picture!! to begin with!! Most probably it's his best shot or something. 
It's driving me crazy.... It's like you had this scandalous forbidden hot sex for one night and you bump into that guy on a bus a few days later. You know you can't have it again., but your throat starts to feel dry. Your penis start to swell. Your senses awakens, you can feel your pre cum flowing out, from the snapshots of his tongue running across your neck. The thought of his fiery breath at your ear makes your nipples swell and actually pinches when it's rubbing against your shirt.  Everytime you see his adam apple moves down, it launches another shot of pre cum. You start to blush and felt almost embarrassed because you can feel your underwear getting wet from the warmth of your pre cum seeping under your balls and across your groin. The fact that he is standing two feet away makes you weak. That enormous incredible dense feeling of wanting him weighs your knees down with a string attached to your heart. teasing it a little with every step taken. 

OMG, i am feeling that!!! All the time when i see his picture. That's a bloody strong force. Is he a witch or something?? Grrr.... I feel like i'm a worm being thrown on a hot plate.!! or i have a constant slow vibrating dildo strap to my heart!! How??
Frankly speaking, eventually i will chat with him again no matter what. But I'm so afraid that he wouldn't wanna chat much with me.  You know how ppl could just shut you off. Completely!!  I wish he wont do that. Im a nice person. ..........Aiks!!
 Well, like what Ichigo would do. You fight till the end. 

Wednesday, February 12, 2014


 I just quarreled with my mom. Personally i am already okay with the situation. Forgive and forget. I hate these negativity that still dwells around though. Because she misses my dad, she became feisty. Hmmm....  to speak of it, it's not only her that has loss a husband. Me too has loss a dad. It's being strong together that we could overcome this unfortunate incident. Arrghhh.... i need super powers. 
 I long for a man's touch. A lovers touch to be precise. Just someone to hug or just to calm me down. I don't think i have a solid direction. I'm afraid i might fall. 

Sunday, February 9, 2014


 I was accidentally turned on when i saw my own penis line through my underwear in the mirror. Lolzz... That's crazy!!  I never thought that i myself are capable of making me myself turn on!!! Well, my underwear was a bit skimpy though, and it's low waist ... heh... heh....heh....
 Speaking of underwear, I think the last time i bought an underwear was two years ago. The David Beckham from H&M. Or was it last year? I love to buy underwear whenever i see a nice one. Besides it's like a stress relieve therapy when you're in that department. I always go there when my day got too tensed. Somehow the pleasant sensual experience relaxes me.
Now that i don't work anymore, i don't really visit that department anymore. So with the massive quantity of underwear i bought last time. I could wear for a long time. I can change twice a day and then leave it at the laundry.  My underwear could last me for almost two month. I've thrown a few away though, cause i think the ones with  little little holes and the worn off waist are a massive turn off!! Wearing a brief but it's super loose also turns people off. Doesn't it makes you wonder, how long has he had it or when was the last time he wash it? 

I really like the Low waisted briefs. It makes your legs looks longer. bulge would look bigger too. Don't you think so? Your penis also could peek out faster. Lolzz... I always wear briefs cause i gets horny easily. So i need something tight to hold my penis in place. Is everyone like that? I know many guys , Straight especially, they love the loose boxers. It must be a nuisance when down South is pointing up North. 

Thursday, February 6, 2014


What should i do when a guy smiles excessively at me? Not only that he make sure that i sees him smiling, he wouldn't stop until i acknowledges him. I thought that he is interested at me at first but this is like the millionth time already we see each other. He never wanna talk to me. I asked for his name the other day though, just because he never talks to me. He's a foreigner. You reckon it's language barrier? He's shy? or i think too much? but but but .... he is so sexyyyy. You know that feeling when you see that someone and you transform into a cat all of a sudden?  You know that searing hot feeling from  the core of your throat rolling down in slow motion through your chest and ends up at the core of your urethra?  You feel thirsty. You breathe harder? That momentarily robust slutty in a decent body moment.  OMG... how do i get him to interact with me?? Hmmm....... 

Someone sucked my soft dick the other day. I was excited and my dick couldn't get hard. This guy was so enthusiastic. He yank off my pants and peel off me underwear revealing a teeny weeny willy. I think he has to search for it. I tried to tell him that i am not hard yet but i couldn't speak loudly and he is anxious. So he open everything before it's ready. After that i thought he would stand up for me to start my practice. Instead he pounced on my soft dick and start sucking. Have you ever tried being suck when you are soft? It was an awkward experience but i liked it. You could feel a jerk (the whole body) when he suck hard at your soft dick. Owh... it's like the jerk you feel when you cum and you continue to rub your dick head, or the jerk you feel when every shot of your cum launches. It was awesome!! 

Something more interesting. I get to know this three brothers. A is married. I like C. B is just nice. C is totally my type. Skinny like Avatar. Sexy. A always tells me that he likes to chat with me. Like me a s a friend and loves my company. He acts like he wants to date me but don't act when opportunities comes. So i take it that he really likes my company.  I always tells C that i know he is straight but i like him. I also tells him that i hope i can blow him at least once. C never rejects. C even agrees. C also never create opportunities. B!! the least favorite.  B always wants me to suck him instead. Grrrr..... I don't like him!!! B always calls me. B always create opportunities even when there is none. I almost got raped the other day by him if there is no one around.  He forced in the bathroom and force me to masturbate him. He was drunk. I am still glad because i tried pushing him away with all my might, and i couldn't move him one bit!! Imagine if he wants to force fuck me instead.?? Lucky he only ask me to masturbate him. 
The world always have to run this way. You always don't get exactly what you want. Worst!! you get the one right next to it!!.