Again?

I seem to always rise weakly. Here i start firing my self up and then i don't anymore. Arrgh.... if these goes on i will burn my self down. I don't know what i need to actually fire me up!! This is frustrating and tiring!! I'm seriously whining here. I got it but i am not charged up to do anything... though i did do my everyday routines. At least that. Everything is so dark now. Even when i smoke outside everything is silent. Hmmm...... where are the fresh morning and humble air gone. Anyway met a guy who is too nervous to get hard. Is that an insult or pure innocents?