Monday, May 3, 2010


I know this sounds pathetic. I'm always in these moods. I apologize. Can i just lay my self  out there in the wild, on the road or pavement and hope someone will hold me and let me cry? Someone who would see me and decides they want to care me. Someone who wants to see if i'm scared. and hold me. Someone who wants to see if i needs to cry and offer me his shoulder. Someone who wants to see if i need a hug just to feel that i'm standing straight.. Someone who wants to see if i needs a friend just so that i could feel a presence of someone i know at my side. Someone who wants  to see if I've prepared breakfast, so that he still knows i care. Someone who wants to secretly waits for me to cover the sheets for him and then goes to sleep. Someone who wants to see if i wake up earlier than him to prepare his clothes so that he knows i still love him. Someone who would watch eagerly at his phone at1pm, for my text so that he knows i still miss him.
I know any strong people would feel that these are just weak. I just started my new job. Every single people are watching my every single steps just to see if i fit my position. So i felt scared. All my best friends has gone to work in Singapore. I am really left alone here. I'm always left alone at home. I know there are nice staff at work but i can't take it as i am really sad that i am all alone. I am in great fear now. I have to put up a strong mask everyday at work. I got no one to turn to when in fact i'm so scared inside.

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