Hmm......

Hi guys. I have been busy finding myself these days. Lol....Well kind of. Actually i'm just clearing stuff around my home and basically it's history and present stuff. Sometimes it's really difficult to document your past and stuff huh? Well that is a never ending stuff to do, i guess it's universal isn't it? I'm trying to avoid sitting too much in front of my desktop. That's why i find stuff to do.
Does anyone watched this Brazillian Film called "Do Comeco Ao Finn" before? Kinda missed it and watched it again today. It's heartwarming till the extend where you wanna breathe in front of the air condition. Hahah...lol.... It is really a nice movie.
I am having two surgeries again next week. I am suppose to not worry about it but there is some part of me are afraid. Maybe i jinx it mentally. Hmmm....

Jay Brannan

I know he is not super famous but people usually knows good stuff rightt? I still have friends that never heard of him. 

Totally GAGA Over These

Sweet!!! I don't know why...i get attracted to guys that looks like that. It's like they have the elegant masculinity that soothes and doesn't looks like whores. 

And he is 15!!! Totally GAGA over this one.....i think i have to calm down and start meditating already. 

Oh..la.la.Something with his mouth...ssssssss....it's hot!!!

I have to post this up

I must do this. I was going through blogs and i found this blog. Voice it out-The way to confess.                           ( http://misterclueless.blogspot.com/ )  He posted this up and it was magic. Crazy.  I don't think i'll still be standing if it was me. And since when Gary Barlow got so HOTT!!???

I Told Myself

It's more to... i warn myself before. I was about to touch on this topic of straight guys, and i realize this blogger called Klex ( http://parkinreverse.blogspot.com/ ) too had the same problems. Kind of i guess. I specifically warned myself before that i should never ever to fall in love with a straight guy. Or have any heavy or hardcore feeling for them. Well except celebrities. ( I love you Eric Belanger ) Lol...a shout out!! hahaha.....
Okay back to the subject. I have came to learn that Loving a straight guy is a very painful experience. It hurts enormously. You will always be in agony cause you would spend your time thinking what is he thinking. His every moves suddenly becomes a puzzle for you to decode. It will become a full time job, trust me.  Why he looks at me this way? why he gave me the candy and not to the other guy? OMG is he hitting on me?  Oh! is he angry at what i just did? and it never ends. 
The biggest mistakes that i have ever done is to express my feelings to all the straight guys that i have loved before. I didn't even say that i want to be together. It's okay to let them know you are gay but never let them know you are into them, Well, i am not judging all straight guys. In my cases all the straights are still my CLOSE friend until they get the hint that i like them. Well besides they are like the sun. You can admire and need them but you really cannot touch them.
It takes much courage and great strength for one to love a straight guy....
Then again...one will always never listens . Here again i am in love with two straight guys. ish.... maybe one in love and the other just excited. In love maybe not the word ,...it's highly interested or whatever it is. The guessing moments are there. 

Such A Dick.

Probably you are bored of this but my friend is such a dick. Really a dick!! Super Duper dick and i think he also has a permanent stick stuck up in his ass hole. Such an egoistic chauvinist pig!!!! I think i'll start to listen to you guys to spend lesser time with him. Seriously...i think before this friendship becomes hate. I shall avoid it. 

Do You?

Do you feel a sudden urge that you have to appreciate everything near you every time you comes back from your hometown? Every time when i feel so i would like to go visit IKEA. I must say IKEA is also my number one choice of place for dating . LOL.... Anyway IKEA always makes me feels calm and weird enough "present" I always would go in deep thoughts when ever i'm in that place. You also would see many real life moments of a beautiful couple. The joyful faces of couples deciding on their first furniture together.A loving parent. A happy kid bouncing on the bed. The expressions of people discovering new SMART furniture. Never much of a sad face. My grandma is 90 and she suddenly got sick and gets weaker. When i visit her the other day she barely could walk. She stutters  while speaking to me. She ask me to make sure to find a good wife and when i looked at her she has tears flowing out of her eyes. My tears couldn't stop flowing after that. We both then continues to chat but both of us are crying at the same time. Arrghh... it's so difficult to type with tears in your eyes isn't it. Anyway i don't have the kind of feeling that she is going soon. I love her lots and i have a feeling she is gonna be better and still be around. Fingers crossed, so far she is getting better and healthier. Love you PO.  

Yeah...it was a long holiday.

Hmm...hey guys. How are the holidays? Mine is as plain as ever. (Ta Dou: yeah..it was a long holiday) Went back to my hometown. Malacca. Were occupied with my parents shopping spree. Getting ready for a trip to China. (Only my parents) So spent my holidays at the malls more than my home. Lol... I noticed that many Malacca guys are much more attractive than KL guys. They seems much more slimmer (the type i go ga ga over) Most of them looks more innocent. Like clean and not polluted. Much fresher. They doesn't seem to have the foxy blood sucker looks compared to much guys here. I guess it's because they are not exposed much to the hard life here in KL. Survival really change ones appearance don't you think? Then i found out my sister is currently doing her practical at this super old hospital in Malacca, and it was where i was born. Hmmm... i find it weird or ironic should be the word? Then i got diarrhea.Cause the "Hamsap" guy like me can never pass on the seafood. In Malacca near my home there are many stalls that sells fresh Mussels. I super love these "seems" dirty but sexy food like oysters, shellfishes. Plus my second sister's Bf gave plenty  of Raya food (not cooked by his mom but bought at Taman Tun) Super oily. The sauce of the Rendang seems like the main dish as the meat is just there to garnish. You think with the Puasa month they will be more honest doing their business. Anyway, that caused me almost a week of bad experience.