I Told Myself

It's more to... i warn myself before. I was about to touch on this topic of straight guys, and i realize this blogger called Klex ( http://parkinreverse.blogspot.com/ ) too had the same problems. Kind of i guess. I specifically warned myself before that i should never ever to fall in love with a straight guy. Or have any heavy or hardcore feeling for them. Well except celebrities. ( I love you Eric Belanger ) Lol...a shout out!! hahaha.....
Okay back to the subject. I have came to learn that Loving a straight guy is a very painful experience. It hurts enormously. You will always be in agony cause you would spend your time thinking what is he thinking. His every moves suddenly becomes a puzzle for you to decode. It will become a full time job, trust me.  Why he looks at me this way? why he gave me the candy and not to the other guy? OMG is he hitting on me?  Oh! is he angry at what i just did? and it never ends. 
The biggest mistakes that i have ever done is to express my feelings to all the straight guys that i have loved before. I didn't even say that i want to be together. It's okay to let them know you are gay but never let them know you are into them, Well, i am not judging all straight guys. In my cases all the straights are still my CLOSE friend until they get the hint that i like them. Well besides they are like the sun. You can admire and need them but you really cannot touch them.
It takes much courage and great strength for one to love a straight guy....
Then again...one will always never listens . Here again i am in love with two straight guys. ish.... maybe one in love and the other just excited. In love maybe not the word ,...it's highly interested or whatever it is. The guessing moments are there.