BRIGHT VACHIRAWIT CHVAAREE

Well.... reality always kicks in. Bright and Win are actors acting in a gay series. Well, its a super series now. Congratulations to them. Many says its their chemistry that makes this couple so attractive. I say its a lot more than that. Everything has to sync and most importantly both of them must break the barrier and accept each other in order to have that kind of chemistry. I totally LOVE it.

Then out of a sudden A girlfriend came in the picture. Bright has a girlfriend. Hmmm.... i acknowledge that he has a girlfriend (Hesitantly). A girlfriend comes in the picture in the middle of the HYPE? Its just a  killjoy and BAD for publicity. Not only Bright's, but WIN's and the whole PRODUCTION. Imagine all the fantasy, publicity & and hope they built up with this series and when its near ejaculation? a girlfriend comes in. I'm sorry but why fill up the mug with liquid gold and then pour it away? Well frankly i do respect his personal life. Keep it low for now though. 

My selfish thoughts.

I must say the girl is pretty. The girl is just a regular pretty girl you can find elsewhere. I'm quite disappointed that what Bright chooses wasn't exclusive or at least on par with his reputation. If Win could be in the competition, I think Win Metawin is totally at a different realm. As a guy, he is luxury. He is elegant, charismatic, classy, and i must say beautiful. He just has this bubble of respected Charismatic Elegance surrounding him. How should i put this?... It's like comparing Kate Middleton(Win Metawin) & Nicki Minaj(that gurl)

LOCKdown GOODNESS OVERDOSE

#BRIGHTWIN #2GETHERTHESERIES

I AM BLOODY OBSESSED WITH #BRIGHTWIN!!! Because of the lock down. I have  no where to go, but to search for my own entertainment. I have been binge searching everything about Brightwin. This is so crazy. My youtube suggestions are all about these two guys and their lives. I have been following their LIVE at Youtube and FB. Its like i'm living a life with only two of them in it!! 

I know its not healthy. At normal times i will go to work and my mind would focus on something else. Now? I'm obsessed. I got angry and feisty because i found out one of the guy actually has a girlfriend in real life. I do register that these are "RIDICULOUS" in my mind but still i'm feeling sour heartaches and tears. 

The only healthy thing i got out of this is that i Lost 4kg after 12 days of rope jumping. WHY? Because i want to be at least same weight as them. 

I wish ill be okay soon. These fantasy is too much. Its good to dream but when it affects your dreams and sleep? it has to mellow down. 

LOCKDOWN GOODNESS

Well too bad im not stuck here with a guy. SAD. Ive been following this Thai BL series that really makes me think.

Im thinking they are 21 and 22 years old. They are successful in a series. I'M 38.9 years old.  WTF and im nothing!!!! These are the difference between a good foundation and foundationless. Children these days have a good start. i didn't own a computer till i'm in Form five (which is 18yr). Kids these days are touching screens just after 18 months. Education came earlier in their lives therefore they understands fact of life way earlier than me. Hence they understands being prepared earlier in life are essential. Imagine what wonders they can do. They have so much more years in their expense. 

Well feeling shitty reminds me of Jordan Peterson. he said..To improves lives. start with cleaning your own room first. There is much truth in that. I have to start somewhere. So i chose to exercise and clear my fats first. I did jump rope everyday and i lost 3kg now. Jumped rope for 9days already i think. I think i officially started jumping on the 1st of April. Hope i can continue till below 70kg at least. 

So in a way i hope this lock down will be extended. It's a good soul searching time. You know. Im greatly affected by Bright Vachirawit Chivaaree. I have this crazy gut feeling that im gonna thrive and be successful. Just to be able to secretly maintain his entertainment career. Hmmmm frankly speaking, i don't mind doing it. Lets see.... Dreaming BIG TIME or not?

2GETHER The Series (Im so Obsessed)

I was fixated to this series. I guess after so long... with all the oddly strangely perfect beauty. Here comes one couple that i can relate too. Both of them doesn't have the alienated beauty but its something that i felt familiar with. It's like the 70's or 80's beauty. like Cindy Crawford beauty.

           Sarawat by Bright. As i've mentioned before this guy reminds me a lot about my first crush. He has the same hair style. He is also mixed American. They have the same Arrogant swag. (Sarawat is more lovable though) So watching this series kinda makes me feels sad but savory. Its like I'm reliving this very dark moment of my life. But on the bright side, in THIS dream, the DREAM came through. Its not the sad soggy straight ending. Its the scandalous LOVE happy ending. Which made me cried like a whore.

           Do you believe in destiny? Its really beautiful how these two actors met and how even this regular production shot these two starts across the globe. 

       

   ON the side note. These two person are very high end relevance. They are visually fit for high fashion and ELITE by default. I cannot undo this thought but to really apologize to the whole set of other cast. The other cast are just not at the same league. Bright and Win just stands out. Both of them are the elite of the elites. The fact that they chose the caterpillar face guy to be a competition to Bright? It almost seems like a joke and what a mockery to SARAWAT. 

BL SERIES. TITLED : 2GETHER THE SERIES

As i was looking through my YouTube. Then i saw this guy as one of my recommended video from GMM Tv25. He was doing covers of song for a section called AFTER SIX for GMM Tv25 YouTube channel. I totally ignored it. Because he reminds me of a guy that I once knew. Anyway, I skipped it Soooo many times.  You know as human. We always hate but deep down we still wonders. So i clicked the video. I sneaked a little bit. I'm quite glad I did it. 

Caused after that then i was recommended to watch 2GETHER THE SERIES. This Guy Bright as Sarawat. I dont know if he is the same guy with the After Six but they felt the same. He looks exactly like my first crush. The hair the color and the swag. My mind has programmed to bounced away from such species after my grand dramatic experience i had with my first crush. This guy is an exact duplicate of my first crush.
So by watching this series, I unintentionally get to relive the moment of the scandalism all over again. Well at least in my mind it is. There is a very big part of me that is very SAD too while watching this series. Its more of my internal struggle really. This series also virtually made my dream comes through. WHICH i still PRAY everyday to ALL kinds of GOD. That love like that would still happen to me. 

I highly recommend everyone to watch this series, because they celebrate LOVE instead of love by gender or category. They get together because they felt LOVE for each other. A very beautiful thought. 

BRIGHT VACHIRAWIT CHIVAAREE as SARAWAT

WIN METAWIN OPAS-IAMKAJORN as TINE

What Can You DO?

A relationship really builds up after a period of interactions. Sometimes the really good looking ones turns out to be ass holes. The ugly ones turns out to be angels. I always get attracted to guys really fast and there are not enough time for me to explore. Sometimes you chat via whatsapp till it quiets off. It's really difficult to catch and hold someone tight.

After a while, i had sex the other day. I was tipsy as usual. we kissed vigorously. Just holding his penis i can feel his veins pulsed. His penis is so hard!! When i put my tongue on it? His whole shaft pulsate. hahaah.... How can a guy get so intense? It turns me on big time. The kissing got more intense and i started rimming him. Hearing him moan makes me so hard. while i rimm him i wet my hand with saliva and caress his penis head with my middle finger. Moving slowly up and down the smiley. I can feel his precum coming out and his penis gets ever so hard. Now his hips are starting to pulsate. its really ecstasy. I can feel my precum flowing non stop... After he came... he didnt let go. he continue to suck me. It must be the alcohol. i didnt cum. we fell asleep. Then i woke up in the middle of the night, In cold sweat thinking... SHIT!!!... "INFLUENZA & VIRUSES!!"
Well i had a night of seductive ecstasy and now im regretting it. Is this what thinking with your dick
meant?

A Year. TWENTY TWENTY point ONE

I didn't notiice that i've skipped a year. I didn't write anything in 2019. A gazillion stuff happened in that year. I've learnt that HEALTH is above everything. I wish everyone good or bad, to be blessed with outrageously good health. Not only this year but every year. Do start learning about what is good for you. Have some basic knowledge of vitamins and nutrition.
Enough of that. suddenly i feel like expressing stuff in here again. I wonder people still read these stuff? Can't be a Youtuber cause not beautiful. I guess this year ill be blogging. Speaking of that, guys from Grindr are very arrogant these days. I practically had none last year. Well I ate one banana and that's a scare story for another day.
I'm happy that you are reading this. Lets all be super healthy and stay healthy.

& stay horny.

Straight

What are the odds. The least expected person cares for me more than I thought. A straight guy worried bout me. Never thought so. Once again proven. Even if he is ugly. When you have the right quality. You're attractive.

Another Night

Another night I spend alone. Maybe some people has a rough last life. That s why this life they can boast. Or parade their affection. What have I done wrong,? I have no idea of my last life. Torturing me this life is not fair to me.

DORKY

I met the ugliest guy ever. But somehow his dorkyness and his straightnedd wins all. I somehow find him sexy.his willingness to be the one who service more than the one who is being serviced. Makes all the sexier. He was hott.

An update?

There is this cute boy says I'm drama on my messenger. Hmmm.... I guess I might be. But when you're alone and suddenly everyone doesn't tsp on you. You freak out. Even when I go hunt in toilet. There are none that are interested. I freaked out. What just happened? I was offering a free bj. No one takes,? I must have been really ugly. Ha he ha .... now these with money you can get even athletes to satisfy you. But even that I have budget restrain. OMG. How much lower I must go? Oh look I took a picture of this guy beside me. Hmm can't attach the pic. It was him underwearless with a vpl. Anyway.... where's is my fate? My jodoh? All hiding. So hidden that the hobbit can't find it. Still I have to move on. Be happy. Live life.

SAd

It's just dissapointed drry sad when you tap twenty orf 5he grindr profile and no one tap you back. Am I so scary. Am I so ugly?

LITTLE

Here I am again. Drinking alone. Using forbidden money. Always make myself drunk hoping someone may consider to rape me. Or the other way round. Apart from the beautiful Grindr pictures.  Hard to get grindr owners. I realise there are more beautiful guys when you see them live. I mean not realise but I've always get attracted to guys who has a certain swag. I mean when you see the real person. The swag of that person may be attractive even though they are ugly. Beautiful still picture from Grindr instead always turns out ugly. Not looks maybe but attitude and stuff. Recently I realise many ugly guys are attractive actually. When you see the way they dress. They move. They talk. All these matters. That s why I'm so pasrah at Grindr. It's impossible to chat real conversations.  I really need a good chat. A simple drinking smoking chat session.

So Far

How could it be that when you met a guy that is 90% of your dream guy, and you're worth 0% to him? Maybe you should get to know each other more. Maybe you have to woo him more.
The incredible evil truth  of a one night stand. Within 4 hours you have to impress intellectually, sexually, lifestyle and many more.
It's so heartaching that you see the future you want and you can't get hold of it. Suddenly you must tug in your muffin tops. Hide your blackheads. Wear your best tops. Nicest underwear. Wear your nicest watch. Diamond ear rings. Brush your teeth. Slick hair. Shaved. Re-organise your home interior. Fresh bedsheets. Freshen the air. Clean the bathroom n the room. Change the channel to HBO. After all that, you must talk smoothly. Don't smoke if he doesn't. Don't drink if he doesn't. Kiss him first. With an impressive kissing skill. Suck seductively. Try to make your small dick look bigger. Moan appropriately. Make sure he cums explosively.

Then after all that... the after sex moment. You try to make him stay. Or try to create a next opportunity. But at the same time see your dream guy preparing to leave. Wondering will there be a next time.

Well in my case it doesn't seem like it's gonna happen again. It's the most painful feeling seeing him leave. Yeah it's just a first meet but I'm terribly smitten. He is all I ever wanted.

I MET A GUY

I met a guy at Pyramid toilet. Was dead horny and i went hunting. These people are very arrogant these days. They are super picky. Well me on the uglier side of the world... obliviously don't get much to eat.

Anyway i got this guy. Saw his shadow. He was masturbating. So i signaled him to kneel down so that i can masturbate him under the stall. ( Come to think of it.. what if he is straight?? I would already got bashed up!! ) He kneel down and i began to reach for his tool. He wasn't very professional cause he doesn't know how to kneel the way the situation needed. The way he kneel doesnt expose much of his cock, instead it felt a bit shorter. so i have to reach for it on the other side. My hands were like the guy from Fantastic four. ( proves the theory.. when you really want it, you'll get it ) Due to the difficulties, i signaled him to move to the other cubicle. The ones with the squat toilet bowls, cause it's bigger.

He came out. Usually this is the moment of the UGLY TRUTH. Guys usually check you out at this time and if you're his type they'll proceed to the cubicle. If you're not his type they'll look away and walk out. That is why many likes being under stalled!!! This time. This guy likes me. He followed me in.

Frankly speaking... This guy is practically my dream guy. Skinny enough to look healthy. His face is very cute but his skin was worst than mine. His acne scars were very obvious. Nerdy hair and nerdy glasses. BIG BIG cock. A typical living proof of Skinny guyz big  big dick. Not only big cock but it was shaped so nicely that i can suck it all in. Even it's half way down my throat it doesn't gag me. Everything was just beautiful at that moment.  His veins were like its popping out and it was perfectly placed.  His dick is so hard, his mushroom head is so shiny. He must have been damm horny. He last a bit too long though, i must say. Cause my jaw seems to start loosing it's grip. I really love how he bents a bit trying to endure my palm grinding his really hard head. The amazing part is that he was trying to endure it. Most guys would pushed me away and claim that it's too ticklish. This guy is actually taking it in and enjoyed it. 

Damm... i can feel my pre cum flowing out typing these details out. I don't know why i really enjoyed sucking him. he even wipes off my sweat while i was blowing him. Finally he cums in my mouth. I started sucking a bit harder and slide up and down while i feel his penis swell up and start pumping out all that juice. i fucking love to feel penises pulsating and swell in my mouth. After he came. I woke up and start to wipe my sweat off and freshen up. suddenly he stared at me and gave me a kiss and blushed. That was so fucking cute. 

I gave him my name card and ask him to text me. I really felt like a boy , excited with the new found lovey feeling. I was ecstatic when he texted me. We chat for hours and i asked him does he has a bf? He says no. Then i ask him can i have him then? ( I know it's too early. it was partly joke and i am gonna know him better again before being steady) He didn't say yes but he answered "im the kind that, When we go out you must sponsor everything"

That was BAD. after that i ask again and again. Asking about him is all our conversation is about. He never ask anything in return. He just answers. Since he is not responding much, out of spike ( i know i very bad in a way) i asked him that would he let me suck again the next time i'm there? He kept quiet and didn't answer my text till this morning. That too is when i text good morning. He just replied "Morning". Nothing else. My text instead are full of smileys and gestures. I felt like this would be a very tiring relationship and also one sided. Well, its obvious that i mustn't continue with wooing this guy. It's Sad that something so beautiful must end so fast. 

HUMAN

It's sad that my bosses decided to close the company. That wasn't the worst.. the worst is that...just because my brother in-law is the boss. I'm am automatically on the most hated list. But in fact the person who doesn't want the company is not my brother in law. it's the other boss. 

You would think that human is with feelings. all these while everything i do i thought of everyone. Everything i buy i will buy extra and treat them. I would buy additional stuff so that when needed they can use. Every single shit i do i thought of them. As i was clearing some stuff just now, i realize 7 out of 10 stuff is mine. I bought it under my own expense for their convenience. I didn't even claim from the company. You would think they would appreciate it. In this case.... im fucking wrong. This is a very classic example of when you hope for hope , God slap you once more and still you must have faith. Find any excuse to forgive them. Arrrghhh... im very surprise of their reaction. It's not that im their enemy b4. We are in good terms and they can just flip on you like that. 

Just a little bit sad.

Just because i'm the boss's brother in law it doesn't mean that i made the call. Why make me the enemy. I felt like it's trivial but my heart aches. Hahah... so drama. but yeah.... cant lie. It Hurts. Cant believe it that whatever i do, i think of nine person's welfare all these while but the 9 doesnt back me up during dire times. Scary huh. 

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BOOZY SMOKY DREAMY NIGHTS?

Was watching this short film from you tube and this guy made a statement. " People still smokes these days?" Im quite surprise that it has come to this. Im 70%GLAD and 30% still feel wanna cheat sometime.

I quit smoking and smokes socially. I know the "thing" now is vaping. (The ever so pungent smokes that destroys every existing perfume)

Well, all i really wanted was to spend a night with a sexy guy (of my definition) (usually skinny weak guys) just casually smoking (not CF) and gradually get wasted. Drinking + smoking + good conversations + good sex (this would be bonus) Spending the night away without any restrictions on conversations, a little blowjob, a little bit drunk, a little bit emotional, a little bit wild. a little bit naughty, plus 30% sober.  These are really the good sessions that i've missed so much. I really have a hard time being able to get back such moments. Believe it or not... the best time ive had was with just booze ciggy and great conversations.

Everyone i met these days are just not like these. Where i work. My colleagues are all malays. Im the only chinese. They smoke but they don't drink. Most guys i met online or Grindr or Blued are all the same. Drink but dont smoke. Smoke but dont drink. or JUST VAPE.

Really missed the cool or what i call cool chill night.

HOW?

What should i do?

This ONS guy is damm sexy. he is not handsome but he is damm sexy. I can lick off his pre cum from his penis slit and immediately his pre cum comes out again. its mind bothering... how fast his pre cum cums out. Then when i lick again, his penis would pulse once. It's like you reloading a machine gun. you can see his foreskin tightens, his head pulls back a little and and his veins. Nearly fainted.

He is not good looking but i can accept .Itt doesnt matter actually. I already consume every inch of his body. Only thing that i dont like is that when he smiles he doesnt look nice. You know like Andrew Garfield? when he smile, all his good looks go away.

The biggest miracle is the fact that his penis is still rock hard after he sees me naked. PLUS The weather was hot and im all sweaty like a pig. He miraculously still hugs me and cant stop smelling my face. He cuddles non stop. Really awesome. Really really awesome.

He is damm discreet and super shy. So i cant contact him much. i thought i wanna leave it be. Leave it as one of my super hot ONE NIGHT STAND. But i cant. He is too hot to be forgotten. There was this one moment where i was looking down from above to his penis. my face was beside his face and when i looked down. my vision has to pass through his six pack and to his beautiful penis. I never thought he was packing so many packs!!! I was In awe.
In awe and when he was about to cum...??? That perfect beautiful sight was addictive.

The second time happened while i was in the midst of writing this post. Havent even post this first post and second time already happen. We rented a room. It was crazier this time.

He is quite discreet. He gave me a feeling that he would back out if i text him too much. But at the same time i am afraid that im letting a chance go. So TORN. Im so Torn... He left me so TORN so HARD so WET.... and so DEFEATED. .

THIS PPOINT

At This point of your life , you just wanna feel a little bit more safe. Loved a little bit more. You want to make sure you are gradually happy. JUST a zillion more richer. A little bit more stable.  You also constantly try to step up a little bit more on your quality of life. Sometimes i feel like i wanna adopt a child, or maybe have one of my own. I Babysit all the time anyway, might as well care for my own child.

Look at MATT & BLUE. Its envious. At this point of my life should i be still looking? I should already have someone to share with, but god just has to forbid. They say god is arranging a hottie for me. So I just have to give in and hope. Patiently and calmly waiting, while i masturbate everyday to wait for my prince charming.

Men and Money. What else? As cliche as it sounds. These two elements do play a very big part in my life. I assume everyone's life too. LOVE and MONEY.  The DEVIL and LUST. The ANGEL and HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Anyway i'm just ranting. Disappointed i am but still with a little bit of hope.