Alex Cornell

It's so so so pleasant. So pleasant that i started to berpuisi.

Ku tercegat tegak when i saw your face,

Alunan movement mu memangkinkan nafasku,

Bila you start singing tergelincir lidah ku,

Jiwang hatiku menanti the next word dendangan mu,

Semakin basah!!

Tak kering lidahku walaupun terlantar hingga ke lantai,

Bila di chorus ku rasa panas kontang tetapi oh!! windy at the same time,

Wahai you yang di you tube,

Dwi cuaca only you can do it,

Keep it up and you know i love you.

Dry Lips

Every time when i get closer to my family then he will appear. I am talking about Bumble Bee. My ever great mom's god son / love of my life / so pity studying alone in Australia / so fat now looks like a hamster..
I felt a bit bad cause my sister can't buy him a ticket to come back for her wedding dinner. In fact it happens so fast that he wasn't even being informed until the night of the wedding it self. I felt a bit ...hmmm whats that word? ..  Then i sort of keep it aside then try to enjoy the wedding. Then one of my friend say she would Skype him and at where we are?  There is no line. So When the wedding is about to end they broadcast a video of my sister's engagement ceremony and there...he has to appear in a few shots.."Cam whore"  Imagine usually these video are made to be romantic and sort of like feel good and teary reflecting the moments and stuff.!! So i starts to wonder how is he now. Later that night when i went on my FB. (I never text him through FB anyway) Just updating on his news through there though. His FB? I saw a broken iPad. Quoting..."how can i live without you" (or something) It doesn't make my worries any lesser...then his profile picture has to has "Dry Lips" cracked some more. Then my "dear" friend who visited me have to tell me that Bumble Bee can't come back this December Because his mom doesn't let him to. Owh....kinda making me wanna work harder to actually eliminate all these isn't it? My mom's god son, means he is my god  brother lah isn't it? That means i have to "god" protect him right? "o" . HAhahaah...no lah...It's someone who i have loved before, so it will be always be that way. Just a different  love plus a "godly" protection. 

7Eeeeeeee

Yeah i know it's him again.  Straight Boy (7 Eleven guy). Yeah i am somehow reporting to you guys. Somehow me too wanna document this down. :)
I offered to pay for my friend's drink. So i say "wait!!...together"  I pointed to my friend while looking at him. His response ... "Owh...together huh?"  WITH a smirk. So my friend defended  that i am not his type and all... (We are quite a regular there..i mean there is a mamak outside 7E, everyone there thinks that my friend and i are together) (Somehow to  the mamaks it's weird to see me appearing without him) Anyway I kept quiet cause i never "officially" told him i was gay  before. Yeah i know you guys must be thinking that...it must be obvious by now. Thing is errr.....you know how sometimes straight guys react dramatically before and after you officially admit it. So i kept quiet. Went for a smoke before going home. That scene repeatedly appearing in my mind. Was wondering that should i have said something? Went home (still thinking) and i couldn't sleep!!! I got up after flapping for two hours on my bed and decided to pay him a visit. Hoping that i could slip in some explanation while chatting

So at 3 something a.m i walk to 7E. So as usual if i didn't prepare then i will bring  "anything"  i could find at home to give him. I only found a box of  mark & spenser blueberry puffs. Hesitated abit cause it's my favorite. ahahahah..... ok ok, took it anyway. Greeted him... he was walking front from the back. Left it on the cashier and head to the back to get a drink. When i came back to the cashier it was already hidden, cause someone came in. He He He he.. So cute..

Then the person paid and gone. We chat, .then i try to slip in the matter that was bothering me..." "Hey... (forehead felt cold) my friend and i are not together"  ahhahaah...trying to make it sound like a joke. (start to feel ridiculous for mentioning it)  (suddenly mind went blank...eyes widened  suffocating  to find something to say immediately so that the situation is not awkward)  still ha ha-ing  (have to say something now! searching... fast!! fast!! fast!!) ..........in a split second.......... .i spurted "I'm yours...don't worry"!!!! Ka ching!!!  eyes widened!! Why do i say that???  Ting!! Ting!! Ting!!! zuuppp  I could feel my hair behind my neck stood up I don't even dare to look at his face....... then we both started laughing.....I Mr.Super Red Face...then turns to the back pretends to take a straw and say bye. Then zoom..off!! My hands were shaking when i walk away.OMG...DON'T WORRY??? and I'M YOURS???? I can understand I'm Yours but DON'T WORRY?? where did that came from?? Why did i even say that??? Really ...this is really OMG!!!

Hmmm......

I was replying a HOT friend's mail and i wrote this "Sometimes when you think you need sex but it's a hug that you desire, and usually a hug is what you don't get even though you are sucking him right in the open. " It's like i can give you a blowjob but hugging you, is gonna loose my virginity!!. 

I never felt like that before. Maybe because while i was still in the working scene people around me always greets with kisses and hugs..May it be just for show or intended. It's still a hug.  So once in a while you may  just get a strong hug. 

Now that i mentioned it ...there were once i am in a super low mood cause i got scolded by my superior for a bad week of sales. I felt super ugly and i was just edging there around my colleague. Then one of the ex colleague turn up. A tall guy  who has a strong broad shoulder. Well of course the normal formality we kiss and hug. I don't know why ..i guessed he is excited seeing everyone he hugged me quite hard. When i felt that sincere close touch i cried straight away. My tears came out non stop. I have to walk away to the toilet and hide. Hhahaha......

Now that i am not working..I don't get that anymore. Well... only hug my dog and it's only the size of a chicken. So i don't know is this ridiculous but right now i am really missing all the hugs that i could get and you may not intentionally intend to comfort that person but i guess we in this strangers world feels lonely all the time....a little body touch does helps a lot. 

I Didn't Know About This!!! CHRIS HUGHES

Chris Hughes, Facebook Co-founder, marries longtime boyfriend Sean Eldridge in New York.

PROVOKE

Why don't you stop when someone is angry at you after you provoke them? Doesn't it just means that you have won? The person reacted just the way you wanted. So why aren't you stopping but instead you continue doing what you did because that person is angry at you?

It's So Blank

Arrgh..having a headache now am sad too. So many stuff. Just came back from passing a pear to 7E guy anyway. (Part of the reason) It was nothing really. Really it was "nothing" I don't feel even a wee bit of light. I think i am feeling the need to weep but i am weaving my note book's skin. Really? doing something interesting actually are stopping me from crying. Even my lips already gets into the crooked motion waiting for the que to start weeping, but it's just not happening because i am doing something fascinating. 

Anyway i hope i am patting him to sleep now. Ishhh...this is such a dry moment.