Sunday, August 19, 2012

It's Nice

I confessed. After the Shiela Majid episode made my tears can't stop flowing. My tears ran loose ridiculously.
I confessed. He took it...well and he says he is straight and he knows that i liked him all the time. I thank him for not avoiding me  even when he knows it. I put out my hand when i say don't worry..i totally understand and we are good friends forever....then he grasp my hand  then i added no matter what ...i will still always care for him...and please don't hesitate to ask for anything. We shook hands. After the confession..our conversations were more like buddy type and more daring. 
 The main reason is not to be in the dark anymore and at least it ends my "hope" of "hoping". I know even i confessed i will still feel pain. Like how now i felt numb and shaky like a terrified dog but at least he gets it that i have no intentions towards him anymore. I mean so that he doesn't need to always fear of me anymore. This way... both of us felt more freedom and for me? I at least have eliminated a part of my pain. Though no doubt i still misses him...awh so much. Though now i really need someone to hold me tight so that i stop trembling, and a good cry on an actual shoulder will help much. The fact that i am still sad, but it's the realistic process i have to bare cause don't think my emotions or feeling could change that fast. 
I am happy though on how much it changes his attitude towards me. I hope i could live up to my decisions. 

16 comments:

  1. U did well, THC...turn the love into something better..it's easy to love someone as a partner but to take it up one level love him as a buddy, a brother, that is harder and I'm sure u can succeed =)

    *hugs and kiss from me* stay strong k

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    1. SHR!! Thanks...Feeling your hug and i will stay strong.

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    2. why SHR?? there is no 'R' in my name pun..hurm =P hahaha

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  2. Virtual hug to you.

    Now, go listen to happy songs !

    At least you got it out, you have gained something behind this.

    :)

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    1. hahah...yeah...but i am attached to the song now..At least now i am not tearing listening it ...some sort like happy ish ...like some mild contented. Thanks Xing....feeling your hug and hugging you back.

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  3. A confession is never easy coz we'll never know how it will end up. Maybe good? Maybe bad? We can't predict any but at least you did it and it turn out for the good. He accecpted it and you gain a buddy that you can warm up too. Facing the pain makes you stronger then you can imagine. Facing it alone makes you even stronger. So be happy and smile through it with a brave face. *hugss* :)

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    1. Well i am prepared to be stronger with this experience. Just hope i am strong enough while going through the process of recovering. Well, you guys are around if anything happens right anyway. Thanks ...feeling your hug.

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  4. I'm proud of you!! You did it. Be proud of yourself! *Hugs*

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    1. Thank you DCG. Sorry i havent reply your mail...but i think you know why lah. Thanks again....Feeling your hug.

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    2. Well, take your time to recover and to reply. I ain't going anywhere soon... Not that I know of, anyway (:

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  5. You did well! You may not feel content right now, but when things settle down, you're not gonna regret doing it. It was something that needed to be done, for life to go on :)

    Coz, at least all of this is real... better than always hoping for something that was never real despite the promise of what it could be...

    *hugs* :)

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    1. You are right..i haven't feel okay yet. It hurts. Then again it feels like i am able to go through it cause at the back of my head i felt i have gained much positive signs from it. Life must go on right? Feeling your Hugs!!!

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