A Bit Unnecessary

 Well, like i say, it's a bit unnecessary. If you have been following my blog, you kinda know that i'm not working now due to my medical probs. So i have plenty of time for my self. With the surgeries that i've had. I can't do many stuff too due to my weak eyes. So, i have even more time to my self. Almost everyday i would walk to 7-eleven. This 24 hour convenient store to buy stuff. After sometime i made friends with the staff there. I always  sort of like to see this one guy. He is a foreign worker here/ I think he is from Nepal. Cute. Slim. Clean. Sometimes even gorgeous. Well, i'm not the super friendly kind. Maybe. how are you and thank you is the only words i have spoken to him. I kinda made him one of my excitement of the day, but of course i didn't allow my self to go ga ga over him. But there is one thing i always wanted to know, not because of the sexual reason but more to educational reasons. I always wanted to know, how big generally a Nepal's guy penis is? Hmm.....that might be my goal. Anyway, today when i push open the shop door, then i heard another door slammed' Then i see him standing at the door, trying to go in and then he walk away disappointed. When he saw me he just forced a slight smile and heads to the cashier. Since then, the incident can't get off my mind. I kinda sad of the idea that he is quarreling with his girlfriend. What if the one who slammed the door is a guy? Well, though i never thought of loving this guy, but i don't like this feeling/ it felt like jealousy. Not good. Not good. 

Kick It

If you keep quiet and starts listening. In the silence, play your favorite song., you will starts to see things differently. It's really important one take "that" step. If you want to live your dream? Start to love it. If you worry about your sickness? Start to alter and change your lifestyle. There are so much rubbish in this world. Equally there are as much beautiful things in the world. We cannot just sit and start feeling disgusted of the problems. Register the ugly in your mind. Start smiling. Go towards the beautiful. Our achievement may not matters to others but one victory will make us fly. Imagine when you feel your hair behind your neck rising,  You smile uncontrollably you almost had a seizure. you had tears jamming in your eyes. That is an assurance, you know you did a good job. Look into yourself and tell your self you did a good job. In this cruel world, these stuff keeps us alive. When you fly? infect others and remember, the world is as vulnerable as we are. We too needs the world as much as it needs us. 

Your Minds Floats

I did mention last week that i am going to visit my doctor again/ That's what I've been doing  till today. My eyes collapsed right away when the doctor remove some stitches from my right eye. It was a bad moment. Everything happens quite fast and before you know it , you are already in the operation theater. Then you are back the next day for check ups. Then you hear about the JAPANS TSUNAMI. My heart skipped a beat and instantly a tear dropped out of my eyes. It's pure madness. It's like my body reacts before  my brain even starts processing the news. 

Hospital

So i have to check my eyes today. My sister had an accident, so i have to go to the hospital by my self. Apparently i'm excited about it. Right away i try to plan my journey. This would be the first after some time. Well, sort of..... So it was an adventure for me. Ha ha ha..... then it came all tumbling down. My other sister doesn't allow it. :( I got a bit frustrated but i do understand why she refuses. She loves me too much. So now i still get to go by myself buy one of my sister would come later to escort me back. I just love my sisters. They are great but i hope these don't go overboard by over protecting me. Ah.... i forget where i found the above picture. I must say his body is ridiculously insanely BEAUTIFUL. I almost lick my screen. Aiks!!!!

BF...bf??

Does all other peoples bf irritates you? They always does. Especially when you are the one standing at the back and looking at the big picture. It's like a tornado every time. You see anger and fights. Once it's over, everything would be fine again but when times comes, there it comes again. Another tornado. I really hope there are lessons learnt every time it happens. It's just heart ache when you see your sisters are sacrificing for those bird brains and they don't learn their mistakes!!! I know love is pain sometimes. I also knows love is everything. Then again i know there is such thing as what goes around, will come around. Just when will it come around and really shake their pea brain!!!! I think i should stop typing now. I'm breathing fire already. 

And Then......

So i was watching this show called " so you think you can dance"and then there is "Billy Bell" one cute but not gorgeous looking kid. Someone that you could actually see that you could live your whole life with him. Doesn't looks like he has tantrums. He looks so peaceful. Someone who would brings you joy. Someone who you knows he wants you, "if" he is with you. That heavy stability aura that makes you felt nothing but appreciation. He doesn't even shows that he needs you to protect him. His vulnerability makes you felt safe and just wanna cry and thank god for his existence. I must admit that there are so many guys out there that i "want"  then there are fantasy and reality. He certainly makes me want to spend my whole life, no... i think it's he makes me wanna dedicate my whole life to him. I wish him well and have a peaceful life. 

Then.....

i just spoke of him and, we went out for a drink yesterday night. Every time we goes out we always spent at least 4 hours chatting. No lesser than that. Again it always started beautifully, and ending up less exciting. :( He likes to interrupt my conversations. It felt really lousy. Sometimes to input his thoughts and sometimes he just made the "topic" his. It felt like he don't care, but he has a way to show otherwise. "He" in my definition is quite hot. He has a very strong "Milo Ventimiglia" feel. A little bit sissier, that i don't like and has a less pleasant eyes. But hey, no body is perfect? It's okay to have some flaws. He talks about his ex yesterday. He compares me with his ex. we sat in his car outside of my house for 2 hours chatting. I do get upset when he is in the calculative mode. It scares me. One of the main reason, i don't want to evolve into a relationship with him. The funny part is, we always shows interest for each other. Sex is no more a fun thing for us but instead it's more to a desired respectful session that we are looking for. Though sitting in the car is way too hot, with his bulge showing all the time. What did he do to his body? it's gets hotter every time i see him. He do cares a lot. When in clubs, he "protects" me and always hold my hand. To make sure i don't get lost. It's sweet, some stuff he does to me. We don't kiss goodbye. You know that awkward but shy moment? I guess what we are feeling are mutual that we are great best friends. We just never brings it to discussion. 

W's

What happen to "Gay Andy"? It's sad to see such great blog to be removed. It's also weird that all of a sudden the blog that i usually follow are no more available. Hmm.... i wonder how can i search it back again. Still, days must go on. Watched Narnia today. Why does the Prince Caspian always checks out Edmund? It's somewhat kinda sweet whenever you see The prince always look out for Edmund. I always teared up whenever i see a man cares for another man. This reminds me of one of my friend. He always says he likes me and i guess i felt the same but we never come around to be together. Till today, we always look for each other for comfort. I too has considered a few times buy he is one person who could  make me flattered ar first and felt less fond by the end of the meetings. yeah we do have sex and all. Still he doesn't brings us closer. He never males me cum. Aiks!!! Anyways i am very grateful to him as since i'm in this condition, he is the only one who comes to visit me. Mmm.... i can't wait till i could re-shape my body. I need to exercise.