I can't Wait

I can't wait what's lying in front of me. I can't wait what will happen next. I can't wait to have the next blowjob. I can't wait how is my new job gonna be like. I can't wait to leave my work place now. As much as i love my job now but the Demon is in the way. I can't wait to be far away from the Demon. I can't wait to see that bitch fall. I can't wait to see the Demon fall.  I can't wait to see if my business will bloom.I can't wait to earn my first million. I can't wait to see the next cute guy. I can't wait to have my next sex. I can't wait to lay my head beside a strong body. I can't wait to see who is my boyfriend. I can't wait to kiss him and hold him tight. I can't wait. I can't wait. I'm really tired. So tired.....

Shock

It's so weird. How things always turn up and all. In 2007 i've actually accidentally found this guy on the internet facebook and i got Ga Ga over him. Never get a chance to be his friend or even chat. I just got so amazed with his looks that actually makes me felt calm and wanna smile all the time and this guy is just pure photogenic. I then saved his pictures and actually had his picture in my hand phone wallpaper for a while.Today while watching American Idol season 9. I got shock suddenly this fermilliar looking guy walk out and audition. It was him. I have to on my laptop and check over and over again. It was so surreal I'm in Malaysia and he's at Boston. Seeing him on TV was real weird. He turns out to be a real nice and POLITE guy. I'm drooling already. It was so cute. Bad Simon says that he's forgettable. I think his eyes are unforgettable. Hmmm.... such a dream guy. I pray all the best to him in the competition.  .

Big Bang

Just attended my company's annual dinner. Me, the once ever famous popular "one" has turn out to be almost alone. Other than my colleague the others are strangers that's like 4 over 500 people. This is what i get for leaving the world alone and concentrate on my life for just half a year. Can't blame them as i my self did not show the world that I'm struggling inside. I hope the world doesn't have many vessels like me. Most of them that i've known looked right through me. It just felt like "hi-bye" friends. don't matter the rest but the one i once close to doesn't really go crazy with me. As in enjoy the party with me. I'm like a pest who suddenly got diagnosed with some psycho disease or maybe i have boils all around me. People just don't really talk to me anymore.
I know you must be asking what did i do. BRIEFLY: I bought a house. Miscalculated and get myself in a deep dept. So i stopped being a party animal. I stop hanging out with friends i even stopped eating lunch. I have control my financial output. So i focused on my job. But the world has to have a bad economy year. Hence i earn lesser commission. Financially got tighter. I can't go out for just a stroll at the mall, cause transport needs money. I can't even buy my parents a holiday or presents. I'm stressed. Don't talk much. It affected my work. Screwed up a report. My manager has to be immature.(unbelievable) She single handedly killed my career. My stress got worst.
I l looked into Facebook and see so many pictures uploaded and not more than 5 is me. I don't have pictures even with my befriends. I do feel freaking sad but i also felt like i could just start all over again. Kinda fresh.!!!

...........

I don't know what title should i have for this post.In the end no matter what happens reality still have to be in COUNT. It still matters. Whatever i do i actually have to consider the reality. At the end instead of resigning i ask for a transfer. It should be a good thing for me. So far to the ones i told they are totally happy bout it. I even get the " Oh!! man... it's about time for you to stop being her dog!!  I'm happy for you"' Well, That's a good start. LoL..... I really hope this would turns out well. This is the only solution that when i "place it" it fits all the blanks. Thought it's not really what i want but i guess i have to make it work. Fingers crossed!!!

I Resent that.

I just lost my phone. What a great way to start my new year. Haha...... I'm panicking actually. All the contents inside and all the numbers. lot's number's..!!! So I'm handing in my resignation letter tomorrow. Still till now i'm not sure am i going to or am i not. Awh... mannn... this is well murderous!!!

Today

Today, it's only the third day, and i already felt like shit. Ther only time i felt better is when i looked into the mirror and i thought i looked good (vain*) lol.. Well actually that works. I smiled the whole day after that. ;p

Have to Come Up with one

.

Well, don't want to read back one day and regret i didn't write anything bout my new year celebration. I've got 3 text wishes on my phone and none from my best friends. How sad is that. I guess if anyone follows my blog and probably they would think i'm a real friends repeller. But i'm not. I'm dying to have plenty of friends. It's just the situation doesn't allow me to. Financially is stopping me and i grief over it. Go out + friends = using money. Hope that explains it. Oh... back to my new year. Eight of us ended up sitting in a lounge in a hotel. Actually i kinda enjoyed it. It was all glass wall and it's in the middle of the busiest town (where the celebration happens) so i can see flocks of people trying to get to where they want, rushing and all. So me in the ever peaceful lounge felt all peaceful and kinda fun actually. Till 11.45pm we paid and just walk outside and we can see the brilliant fireworks from KLCC. Initially we planned to go to this new gay disco but two of them say they don't feel like it. How bloody selfish is that? Anyway 15 minutes of head tilting we proceed to food. Then went home. 1 bottle of Heineken + plenty of DIM SUM. I think this is me healthiest new year celebration ever.Happy new year everyone and wish me a lot. Cause i really need many good lucks to start of this year.(fingers crossed) Don't worry people, I am going to put up a fight for my life and for everything that i believes, and i love my penis.