Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Big Bang

Just attended my company's annual dinner. Me, the once ever famous popular "one" has turn out to be almost alone. Other than my colleague the others are strangers that's like 4 over 500 people. This is what i get for leaving the world alone and concentrate on my life for just half a year. Can't blame them as i my self did not show the world that I'm struggling inside. I hope the world doesn't have many vessels like me. Most of them that i've known looked right through me. It just felt like "hi-bye" friends. don't matter the rest but the one i once close to doesn't really go crazy with me. As in enjoy the party with me. I'm like a pest who suddenly got diagnosed with some psycho disease or maybe i have boils all around me. People just don't really talk to me anymore.
I know you must be asking what did i do. BRIEFLY: I bought a house. Miscalculated and get myself in a deep dept. So i stopped being a party animal. I stop hanging out with friends i even stopped eating lunch. I have control my financial output. So i focused on my job. But the world has to have a bad economy year. Hence i earn lesser commission. Financially got tighter. I can't go out for just a stroll at the mall, cause transport needs money. I can't even buy my parents a holiday or presents. I'm stressed. Don't talk much. It affected my work. Screwed up a report. My manager has to be immature.(unbelievable) She single handedly killed my career. My stress got worst.
I l looked into Facebook and see so many pictures uploaded and not more than 5 is me. I don't have pictures even with my befriends. I do feel freaking sad but i also felt like i could just start all over again. Kinda fresh.!!!

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