Monday, July 12, 2010

What can I say?

Okay, I have been out scouting for doctors for my eyes. My family too are always not satisfied with what my current doctor's review. I have been to one doctor in two other hospital. I even went to pray. Chinese always belief there might have something to do with witchcraft or spirits. I let my uncle bringing a Feng Shui master over to clense my home. All these has never stops since January. Little quarreling with my mom cause i refuse to swap or even get so many different opinions from so many other doctors. I believe in my current one. I take extra precautions to care for my eyes . Gone through difficult decissions and misery. now i quit my job solely just to rest and cure my eyes. I stop working just means i stopped my bread and butter. I have no savings. So that means, financially i'm fucked up.  oday i was forced to visit a new doctor in the same hospital as my current doctor. So i went. As usual all the question of my medical history and was there at 8.30 in the morning. At 1pm i was refered to another doctor who seems to be specialised in my problems. It's the veins of my freakin' eyes. Then another session f questions and scanning, bright lights in my eyes and billions of eye drops. Then i was being scolded for visiting her after so late. LATE? Yes! my left eye is permanently damage. She will try to safe my right eye. All the treatment that i have been going through all these while is not the correct treatment. It also seems this eye problem has something to do with my gene. I've got fucked up gene that naturally my antibody is hyper sensitive. I am bound to get this somewhere down the road. Anything even as simpla as stress would cause the damage of my eyes. This is actually is a life long thing. Might not be able to heal but could be cintroll. I always try and deliver my best at work. I always have kept myself from getting sick and any slight sign i'll gulp down medicines to prevent it from getting worst, solely because i want to get to work. Imagine. Just because i don't allow myself to get sick, might be one of the cause of the condition of my eyes now. How ironic. This is unbelievabe. So now i could say that we have finally found the right doctor to heal my eyes.  This doctor's room is at the same level with my current 4 months doctor. What's worst is that it's only the nest room too. What kind of joke is this? I am worried shit, so much money has been spend on medication. It's all useless?? and the actuall correct help is just next door? This is sick!! It's really a sick joke. I want my visions bavk. The thought of me going blind in the future really freaks me out!! I wanted to gry. but my sis is around i can't do that as i will potray that i lost hope. They have helped me plenty. I want to cry. I want my visions back......

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