Monday, March 8, 2010


      In the midst of all my problem's and the never ending problems that arise through out my living days, YES i do reach out at every opportunity i have. I'm not really all that sad in real life. I guess it's because i never show one bit of sadness in reality and in virtual i pour it all out. well, i guess this also how one would really know one person's true self. Maybe. Got really excited at work today cause it's Oscar the next day. I take off every year on this day. Oscar really boost my energy a lot. I guess watching people's success would actually makes you wanna achieve something in life. Well then got a text from Bumble Bee... he is going to resign and work in Singapore. It means he will be in the neighbor country and i really can't see him anymore till the next time he comes back again for holidays. He who i knows we will never get together and who i also loves dearly would actually be very far from me. It gives me a little panic attack. I worry of his safety. He who always likes people to prepares everything for him and he who is still a kid in so many ways would actually be living alone. It's so strange and I'm bloody afraid that he might be scared over there. It really felt like you permitting your child to move out the first time. What if he felt lonely? Who is there to cheer him up? He is so used to computers before sleep, and he doesn't have one when he is there. He who always needs to change his toothbrush every two months. Does he even know he has to prepare so many little things like bed sheets, food. He who drinks a lot of water, who is there to prepare for him? and he likes them cold. Does he knows he has to buy toilet rolls? OMG this is freaking me out!!! Though i really let him be by himself but from time to time i check. Least he is near. Now he is far and i don't know how. I hate to see him go sad. His puppy eyes really makes me cry. I am really worried that there will be no one there to comfort him when he really needs it. He is like a fragile piece of jewel to me. I'm always afraid to hurt him. I always hate to smear it. I look at him when he is asleep and i love smelling his forehead when he is asleep. I always will make sure i kiss and brush his forehead while he is sleeping so that he felt safe and then i goes to bed. I always will make sure the room is cold enough for him to sleep or makes sure he is properly covered during the rainy days. I always tells him good night before i sleep (he is asleep of course), my words would always be "Good night stupid boy" and i never sleep before he sleeps. Didn't realize i have been doing that for the past 6 years already. I wish him all the best. You be good and really take care of yourself aight?

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